BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News COPYRIGHT 1991 February 1991 Volume 4, Issue 2 Table Of Contents ----------------- Article Title Author Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff Editorial......................................Dean Costello 3rd Annual Unofficial Birmingham BBS Poll......Tyros A Few Thoughts From A Semi-Retired Sysop.......Lurch Henson Better Sound Through Technology................Colby Gibson ?Why I Compute?................................R.J. Gumby Review: File Finder Pack......................Henry Barfoot Review: Commo 4.4 Terminal Software...........Sid Browning Review: The Telegard BBS......................Steven Capps BTN Party Questionnaire........................Eric Hunt ProFile: Colby Gibson.........................Chris Mohney Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff Echoes/Network List............................Staff ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions, etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN, even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood of such damages occurring. With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article. Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles, please forward a copy of your publication to: Mark Maisel Editor, BTN 221 Chestnut St. BHM, AL 35210-3219 We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing all of this and not get too serious about it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- N E W S F L A S H ********************************************** *If you have any news, especially you sysops,* *that you want to get out to the readership * *of this august publication, let me know and * *it will be placed in this space. MM * ********************************************** ----------------------------------------------------------------------- F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T ! The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no charge to any existing upload/download ratios. The Connection LZ Birmingham Alter-Ego Channel 8250 Little Kingdom Joker's Castle Crunchy Frog Myth Drannor Posys BBS The Matrix Abject Poverty The Bus The Outer Limits Bloom County If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let me know via EzNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN distributor. Thanks. MM ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Editorial by Dean Costello A February editorial. What to write about? Well, there are rumors of snow for tomorrow morning. I, for one, am going to get a Thermos of hot chocolate, and go down to US31/280 and Highland Ave. and watch people wreck. I can think of nothing better to do. It has always surprised me that an entire culture, such as in the Birmingham region, is genetically unable to cope with snowfall. I shall see for myself for a change. The schools haven't been shut down for tomorrow under threat of snow just yet, so there is still some apparent hope. It kind of reminds me of the December party, 1989, when people were calling Kathy and Mark to find out if the party was still going to be held, even though there was a threat of snow. I was amused. There was a run on supermarkets, and everything. I know that I don't want to be caught in an Alabama blizzard without beer or toilet paper. I can't quite figure it out. By this time, you probably know that I am leaving Birmingham. I have been here for 2.5 years now (September 1, 1988 to present), and I think that it is truly time to go. I have been noticing the way that many of my messages have turned from biting yet clever to just nasty, and that is a trend I am not very happy with; so maybe it is truly time to get the hell out of Dodge. But on the other hand, I have been voted the most popular user in Birmingham for an unprecedented two times in a row. As Sally Fields said, "You like me. You really like me!" Or at least 30 or so of you do... I am curious as to where I would place next year, but it isn't really important, I guess. I must address something that has really been bothering me as of late, and that is the scourge of the offline mail reader. Before you start up, I realize that it is handy for those of you that are calling boards long distance, but I reply that if you are calling a board long distance to read mail, you get what you pay for. The problem with them is that it allows people that normally wouldn't leave many messages are all of the sudden leaving entire slews of shitty messages. And don't tell me they aren't, either. I have spoken with several people about the perceived (by me) decrease in average message quality (the AMQ). There is a direct correlation between the decrease in AMQ and the profusion of offline mail reader doors here in Birmingham. Remember the early days, when very few people had them? And remember that it was the evil Baron von Enterkin who was the chief proponent of them? Of course you do. As Brett Thorn says, oh so succinctly, "Anything that Jay Enterkin champions must be fundamentally flawed". And flawed it is. So now, we have these people who feel it is their Holy Mission to respond to every message left in a message base. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but these people also leave immense quantities of messages, but immense quantities of crappy messages, thusly reducing the AMQ that I spoke of before. You have sysops saying, "Oooooh, we have a MarkMail door, and now thousands of people can call in here everyday". Oh boy. Thousands of people/day has always guaranteed quality in my book, by God. As Ed O'neill said, "Since McDonald's sells the most food, does that mean that they are the best restaurant?" Not hardly, and this is what I am seeing. Just because all these people can call in, and leave mass quantities of mediocre to poor messages, this does not mean that the individual BBS is better for it, no matter what the sysop may say. I guess it is more of a ego booster to be able to say, "I have [x] more callers calling in now". I personally wouldn't use that as a indicator of BBS quality. So now, we have BBSs that feel it is so important to have these accursed things that they must advertise it to get people to come to their board. How very curious. A problem involved with this increase in offline readers is that what happens to the non-IBM types that don't have offline reader programs? Looks to me like they are shit out of luck. Amiga's apparently have them, but that's about it. I own an Atari ST, so if I am to read mail on a BBS, I must either read it online, and respond accordingly, or I must use zipmail packets, due to the increased influx of low AMQ messages from offline reader wizards. As a function of this, I have discovered the beauty of the QQ command in Prodoor. It is a quick scan of the message base. It shows the author of a message, who it is to, the date, and the subject. As a result, I employ it greatly to limit the amount of reading that I am forced to do. For instance, there are between 4 and 8 people whose messages I ignore completely and utterly. Using the QQ command, I can spot them, skip over them, and then read messages from other people. And with the plethora of low AMQ messages out there, I am forced to skip over more and more messages from all types of people. Which is a shame, since I am sure that they would eventually have something that is worthwhile reading. But with the sheer quantities of messages that can be left with the offline readers, I cannot spend the time to read them. The upshot: I sure hope that the individual sysop thinks that the tradeoff of more users to crappier messages is a fair one to make. I cannot see that as the case, which is one reason why I am not on many boards any more. Also, for those of you whom I ignore: You made your bed, and now you must lie in it. If you hadn't left so many messages, I wouldn't be forced to ignore yours. Now, on with the rest of the issue. Scott Hollifield has (theoretically, as of this time, it has still not been seen) finally finished the BBS survey. Sid Browning wrote something about some kind of terminal software. The Profile is apparently Colby Gibson (note my comment in the middle of paragraph 4), and he also wrote an article about something having to do with electronics. Poindexter Henson wrote a little bit about adult oriented networks and bulletin boards. And Eric Hunt is scheduled to present the best, or at least most legible, responses to the questionnaire from the party at Kathy and Mark Maisel's house. One more thing I must add. I had the dubious honor of helping Scott Hollifield with the compilation of the BBS survey. I have to admit that I am VERY disappointed by the number of you that listed yourself as being your favorite user. Also, you sysops (Hi Kelly, Kathy) that listed their board as their favorite board. Such egotism is not healthy. Which reminds me, why did I get so many votes for least favorite user from the Teleguard boards? Hell, I don't even use 'em, let alone abuse them. I guess it is like Oscar Wilde said, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about". I like to think of this as my own personal mantra. ed. Please feel free to respond to this editorial with one of your own. The editorial space is open for pretty much anything you'd like for our readers to read. I do reserve content and editorial control, though you can see that it is done sparingly. MM ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- THE THIRD ANNUAL UNOFFICIAL BIRMINGHAM BBS POLL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Results Gathered, Compiled and Snickered At By **> TYROS <** Well, I guess you might say that it's about time. Yes, it is indeed about time for the most eagerly awaited event in the Birmingham BBS scene, and that's the unveiling of the results for our annual BBS survey (or "poll", take your pick). This year, I'm a little late in getting the results out, so I can see how some people might be a bit impatient to get to the goods and skip all my witty introductory rambling. If you're viewing this on a word processor with search capability, do a search for the word "umfwhoodle" and that will put you right at the results. If not, tough beans; I can use an audience. --------------------------------- COMPLETELY IMPRACTICAL DISCLAIMER --------------------------------- Okay, I've decided to make my disclaimer a yearly tradition with the survey since there's always someone who complains anyway. So I'd like to stress, as usual, that this whole survey business is a fun exercise that exists for no other reason than to entertain the masses. I make no claims as to Gallup-level accuracy, so if you disapprove of my methods, then I suggest you support the free enterprise system and make your own survey. And if you're offended by anything you see here, then don't blame me. You can leave me a message so that I can intellectually smash you and your ego publicly, which is the punishment I mete to all comers, but don't blame me personally. ---------------- BEHIND THE SCENE ---------------- If you're anyone who's anyone, you know at least vaguely how this thing works, and you'll teach your children as well, but if not, a brief explanation: The list of 30 questions was written up by me, and based mostly on the list of questions we used last year. I offered to run the survey as a built-in questionnaire on every board I could call that I thought might be able to technologically handle it, and as a result, the survey was installed and answers were culled from a record *eighteen* boards. This is twice as many boards that ran it last year. The following systems hosted the survey this time around: American BBS Alter Ego Bus System Central Quest Channel 8250 Commodore Zone Crunchy Frog The Connection Joker's Castle Little Kingdom Magnolia The Matrix Outer Limits Owl's Nest Radio Free Troad Sperry ST BBS Total Recall If you don't see your board's name on this list, then that means one of the following things: (1) Your board does not use PCBoard, WWIV, or Telegard software, which were the ones I was working to get the questionnaires integrated on. (2) Your board runs the correct software but I never saw you respond to my invitation to sponsor the survey. (3) Your board is long distance from where I live. (4) You asked to run the survey and I somehow, some way, inexplicably, didn't get around to fixing you up. If you fall into this category, my sincerest and most heartfelt apologies. This year, like the past two years, things were a little loose concerning survey organization and I daresay that I might have overlooked someone, so please let me know if this happened to you. (5) You don't run a board. ----------- BIG NUMBERS ----------- Yes, it's the lean hard data first - that is, the AGES of you who participated. For the first time, I've decided to publicly reveal the number of people who voted on each board. Examine this and marvel at how so much power can be wielded by so few. TOTAL MEAN USERS AGE ----- ----- The Matrix 116 30.3 ST BBS 45 28.9 Channel 8250 33 30.4 Crunchy Frog 26 22.9 Bus System 24 38.3 Alter Ego 22 29.7 Total Recall 18 19.3 Commodore Zone 16 23.8 Connection 16 31.1 Outer Limits 16 20.8 Sperry 13 31.5 Central Quest 12 18.1 American BBS 9 35.8 Little Kingdom 8 24.5 Radio Free Troad 8 29.8 Joker's Castle 7 24.9 Owl's Nest 6 28.2 Magnolia 4 21.3 ----- TOTAL 399 Note that if you voted more than once (and there were several of you), I only counted the questionnaire I saw first. Last year, I figured out statistical data like median ages, modes, etc. If you're really interested in that stuff, let me know and I'll let you borrow the age-results, but I just didn't feel like laying the ages of 116 Matrix users in a row and picking out the middle one. ---------------- BAUD TO THE BONE ---------------- As was the case last year, the overwhelming majority of you are 2400ers. Here are the hard data. 2400 baud : 263 1200 baud : 95 9600 baud : 14 300 baud : 10 19,200 baud : 9 14,400 baud : 3 38,000 baud : 2 4800 baud : 1 refused to answer : 2 That really is an amazingly low number of people who refused to answer, as you'll see from some of the other questions. ----------------- THROUGH THE YEARS ----------------- One of the questions was "How long have you been using BBSs?" Here's how the BBS experience of our voters stacked up: less than 6 months: 57 between 6 months and 1 year: 62 1 year: 27 2 years: 54 3 years: 51 4 years: 30 5 years: 37 6 years: 10 7 years: 10 8 years: 11 9 years: 4 10 years: 4 more than 10 years: 2 No clever wisecrack here; just my profound astonishment and sorrow that there are people who have actually been doing this for over 10 years. ----------------- THE MAIN "AWARDS" ----------------- FAVORITE BBS: (top 10) points ------ 1. THE MATRIX 264 2. Crunchy Frog 81 3. Channel 8250 53 4. ST BBS 51 5. Willie's Dial-Your-Match 47 6. Sperry 46 7. Myth Drannor 40 8. Alter Ego 39 9. Little Kingdom 32 10. The Connection 31 Before you start adding it up and getting a number that exceeds 399, let me say that this category (and two others, Favorite Sysop and Favorite User) were figured on a point system. You voted for a Favorite and a Second Favorite; a board voted for Favorite got 2 points, and one voted for Second Favorite got 1 point. Statistical skeptics will note that eight out of the ten boards listed here sponsored the survey, which is a sure way to get at least a few votes. Nobody ever accused this survey of being completely impartial. Still, if you want to discount those boards and consider Willie's Dial-Your-Match the "real" number one board, go right ahead. LEAST FAVORITE BBS: (top 10) votes ----- 1. The Connection 27 2. Byte Me! 25 3. Crunchy Frog 17 4. Bus System 8 4. Channel 8250 8 4. Radio Free Troad 8 7. American BBS 6 7. The Matrix 6 7. Sperry 6 7. Ziggy UNaXess 6 As in past surveys, users were often reluctant to speak ill of anything or anyone in the Birmingham BBS scene, which explains the slack vote on a lot of these controversial questions. I hope that, by showing you how few people voted on these things, I'm letting the appropriate people know how silly it would be to get worked up over something like this. FAVORITE SYSOP: (top 10) points ------ 1. ROCKY RAWLINS 117 2. Monty 75 3. Steve Turner 39 4. Maggie Harden 34 5. Razor Eater 28 6. Willie Moore 26 7. Bill Freeman 25 8. Randy Hilliard 24 8. Kelly Rosato 24 10. Tim Straughn 10 Whoo, another landslide. Good job to all the sysops. LEAST FAVORITE SYSOP (top, er, 6) votes ----- 1. Omega Ohm 31 2. Bill Freeman 20 3. Kelly Rosato 7 3. Quaid 7 5. Blue Diamond 6 6. Dean Costello 5 Another slack vote, to say the least. People afraid of getting their security levels dropped, no doubt. An interesting note is that Dean Costello, in his one week as the fiendish fascist temporary sysop of Crunchy Frog, generated enough negative public reaction to be placed in this category. BUSIEST BBS: (top 10) votes ----- 1. The Matrix 98 2. Crunchy Frog 37 3. Sperry 27 4. Camelot 18 5. Magnolia 17 5. Myth Drannor 17 7. Alter Ego 15 7. Willie's DYM 15 9. The Connection 12 10. Joker's Castle 9 Up until this year, there was a category called "Least Busiest BBS", and both years, the winner was, of course, The Matrix. I dropped that category this year, thinking: "Well, The Matrix will just win again." Now I'm not sure. The Matrix is such a popular board that it made "busiest" despite its unprecedented five phone lines. Congratulations to Willie's for achieving a similar honor with four. BBS DOWN THE MOST: (top 5) votes ----- 1. The Matrix 27 2. The Connection 16 3. Willie's DYM 15 4. Camelot 9 4. Shadetree 9 Looks like some of the busiest boards were also down a lot. Or maybe some users interpreted constant busy signals as a sign that their favorite board was down. FAVORITE BBS SOFTWARE: votes ----- 1. PCBoard 118 2. Teleguard 25 3. WWIV 22 4. Image 11 5. Oracomm 8 5. ProDoor 8 As usual, LOTS of people misinterpreted this question and put answers like "games", "business software", and "x-rated pictures". No, we're not interested in that. However, notice that PCBoard kept its traditional lead over the johnny-come-latelys. LEAST FAVORITE BBS SOFTWARE: votes ----- 1. WWIV 54 2. PCBoard 24 3. Oracomm 15 3. Teleguard 15 5. Image 12 5. RBBS 12 "I wouldn't use software I don't like!" cried one user, and his adamant refusal to answer the question was fairly typical. I may eliminate this and similar questions next year. Maybe I should extend that reasoning to the Least Favorite User question, since perhaps most people refuse to learn about people that they don't like. FAVORITE FILE LIBRARIES: votes ----- 1. The Matrix 226 2. Sperry 19 3. Camelot 12 4. Alter Ego 7 5. Radio Free Troad 5 Was there any doubt who would win this one - the third year running now? Ordinarily, I might make some smart-aleck comment about Sperry, but in light of such an embarrassing second-place showing, I think I'll refrain. LEAST FAVORITE FILE LIBRARIES: votes ----- 1. Magnolia 22 2. Willie's DYM 20 3. Joker's Castle 10 3. ST BBS 10 3. Total Recall 10 To me, now, this is kind of like voting on which board's modem tone you like the least. Who cares? Not I, and that's all that counts. Thpthpth. FAVORITE MESSAGE BASES: votes ----- 1. Crunchy Frog 58 2. The Matrix 40 3. Channel 8250 24 3. Willie's DYM 24 5. Alter Ego 21 This turned out like I expected it would, except I really didn't expect Sperry to come in sixth place with 10 votes. In retribution, I left that off the chart. (Nothing personal against that BBS, by the way, now that I realize I've made my second Sperry joke) LEAST FAVORITE MESSAGE BASES: votes ----- 1. The Matrix 29 2. Sperry 17 3. Radio Free Troad 11 4. Channel 8250 9 5. Crunchy Frog 7 5. D3 Systems 7 5. Sperry 7 I enjoy seeing Crunchy Frog rack up votes here, like it did last year, because some users get so darn annoyed at the silliness that goes on there. "Too many kids!" complained one 15-year-old voter. FAVORITE USER: points ------ 1. Dean Costello 41 2. Mark Maisel 37 3. Maggie Harden 26 4. Me (Tyros) 22 5. Mrjoey 8 5. Janet Tyner 8 5. Col. Croninger 8 8. Chris Mohney 7 8. Brett Thorn 7 8. Henry Barfoot 7 I think we can safely chalk Dean's showing here up to sheer visibility. Remind me to post more messages this year. Either that or run more surveys. If your name appears here, it means that at least 4 people thought of you. Pat yourself on the back. LEAST FAVORITE USER: votes ----- 1. Omega Ohm 18 2. Steve Brian 9 3. Dean Costello 7 3. Mrjoey 7 3. Kelly Rosato 7 6. Ricky Eanes 5 Naturally slack. Virtually everyone had some singular nemesis that they wanted to vote for. Consider that we had nearly 400 voters, then it's not so bad even if your name does appear here. After all, who wants to be universally loved? FAIREST FILE TRANSFER RATIO: votes ----- 10:1 65 No ratio at all 60 5:1 46 2:1 27 3:1 21 greater than 10:1 17 4:1 14 1:1 9 less than 1:1 9 7:1 4 6:1 2 8:1 2 9:1 1 122 people didn't care enough to vote for this question, or put down something completely incomprehensible. I don't speak integral calculus, so the best I could do was reduce your improper fractions. FAVORITE ONLINE GAME: votes ----- 1. Guppies 23 2. Trade Wars 22 3. Global War 14 4. Esterian Conquest 11 4. Turbochess 11 6. Operation: Overkill 9 7. Dragon's Hoard 8 I lumped all the different versions of a particular game into the same slot for this question, so those 23 votes represent Super Guppies, Guppies Supreme, Guppies Au Gratin, and all the other variations. FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: votes ----- 1. Star Trek: The Next Generation 41 2. The Simpsons 21 3. Cheers 20 4. L.A. Law 12 4. M*A*S*H 12 4. Twin Peaks 12 7. Star Trek 11 8. Night Court 9 8. Quantum Leap 9 10. CNN (Cable News Network) 8 All right, a feisty battle at last. The results from this question were *much* better than last year's. More of you are wasting time with your eyes glued to the television. Good, good. FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTIST: votes ----- 1. Pink Floyd 13 2. Led Zeppelin 11 3. Phil Collins 10 4. Billy Joel 7 4. U2 7 No surprises here. Last year's dark-horse favorite, Willie Nelson, failed to show up in this year's running. I suppose I should blame Farm Aid IV. DO YOU READ BTN?: votes ----- No 187 Yes 117 Sometimes 67 BTN is, of course, Birmingham Telecommunications Newsletter, which you have to know if you're reading this. Hmm, that means that about half of the people who answered this question won't see these results, or are reading BTN for the first time. If this is your first time, please keep reading. Thank you. FIRST TIME ANSWERING THE SURVEY?: votes ----- Yes 303 No 72 These results really floored me. A 76% first-time rate. I can't figure out where all of last year's voters went to. Then again, maybe only 72 people voted last year. DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SURVEY NEXT YEAR? votes ----- Yes 319 No 13 Uncommitted 23 Hmm, an 79.95% Yes rating, which is down from last year's 90.52%. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Maybe you're not as enthusiastic about this year's survey. Maybe I shouldn't put as much effort into it. Maybe I should DELAY THESE RESULTS BY A FEW MONTHS. ------------------------------------ WAIT, YOU FORGOT A QUESTION! PART 1 ------------------------------------- This year, we asked, just for fun, one thing that you were SICK AND TIRED of. By far, the most popular answer had something to do with Saddam Hussein or the military operation in the Middle East. Keep in mind that this was during the month of December, so war hadn't broken out yet. I shudder to think what the results would've been like now. Other things that got a lot of mention were everyman hassles like taxes, rush hour traffic, and liberal politicians. Some voters took this as an opportunity to vent discontent for the survey itself. "Too long," yawned one person. Someone else called it "boring". Still other participants used this question to bash their least favorite user again, coming down again Dean Costello's rants or Kelly Rosato's smart mouth. People clearly had different priorities. It was kind of heartening, after 20 people grumbling about the national deficit, to see one teenage voter complain about his younger brother, confiding, "he's a twerp." Here are my ten favorite answers, in no particular order: 1. Subs Where people post there opinions 2. Democrats and Republicans eating my wallet 3. Leeches, but I am sure my name looks like one so I say No mo ((I have no idea what that means - the voter's name looked innocuous enough to me - but it sounded amusing)) 4. people saying mothers don't do anything 5. Being kicked off a board because my son registers w/same pho 6. foul mouth kids online and rich brats that have bbs 7. bbs's w/ 10 min logons and restricted access that want $ 1st 8. People complaining 9. Kids acting as if bbs's owe them something 10. inconsiderate people who litter and loaf Notice that pretty much everyone ignored the bit in the question that said "six words or less". ------------------------------------ WAIT, YOU FORGOT A QUESTION! PART 2 ------------------------------------- Last year, as this year, I included a question that asked for your suggestions concerning the next survey. One thing I was worried about was that people might get irate at having their suggestions ignored, all in the name of frivolous fun and public lunacy, despite the fact that I took each and every suggestion under consideration, even the perverted ones. So what I'm going to do this year is this: I'm going to round up the suggestions I got this year, take the most common or relevant ones, and address them directly in a special post-survey article for BTN. This article will be appearing in the next issue of BTN, so watch for it, and thanks for your suggestions. ------------------------------ LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL ------------------------------ Well, that will about wrap things up for this year. I do want to thank a few people, first and foremost Dean Costello, my co-compiler, who helped me scribble results and let me mess up his apartment for the purposes of this survey. It will be my special farewell gift to Dean that I allow him the chance to read this file, which he helped create, so that he may expire peacefully back to Maryland from whence he came, now that he's finished graduate school. I also want to thank the godlike patience and fortitude of BTN publisher Mark Maisel, who didn't demand for this article on deadline but instead let me continue on blissfully under the delusion that there was no hurry, no hurry at all. It is due to his monthly struggles that you are able to read this now. A special thanks needs to go out to the sysops who helped sponsor this year's survey by allowing it to take up disk space on their hard drives, particularly those sysops who worked extra hard to make my job easier - meaning Tim Straughn, who wrote a special survey-script door just for me, and Christian Minton, who helped expand our range by making the survey Teleguard-compatible. Thanks to all the users who took time out of their incredibly busy existences to fill out the survey, and thanks also to anyone I may have forgotten in my haste. It is 2 in the morning and I am rather tired, so please blame Mr. Sandman, not me. Finally, let me remind everyone to check out next month's BTN for "Survey Suggestions" - and to look forward to Fall 1991, when work on the Fourth Annual Unofficial Birmingham BBS Survey will commence. If you want to talk to me about the survey concerning anything having to do with it, leave me mail on Crunchy Frog (956-1755) - my handle there is "TY ROS", with a space between the Y and the R. Until then, good night. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A few thoughts from a Semi-Retired Sysop.... by Lurch Henson Well, Mark went and did it. He offered me a chance to write something for BTN. After careful consideration, and a small suggestion, I decided to write about several things that are interconnected, all concerning Adult messaging on BBSs. I myself ran what could have been called the most successful Adult oriented BBS in Lower Alabama, right up until my divorce killed it. I enjoyed doing so for so long, I will be putting it back online as soon as I have a place to live and a phone to do it on. During the entire time I ran the BBS, which could not have been called "low-key" in any sense of the word, a strange change began to come over the other Sysops in the area that had "hidden" Adult sections on their BBSs. Word began to come through some of the Nets about Adult messaging being illegal, and that some Sysops were going to jail, or worse, having all of their computer equipment confiscated by the FCC. No one could confirm any of these rumors, but they began to have their effects. Sysops began to become distrustful and suspicious. They began calling each other late at night and asking about New Users, fearing each new call, waiting for the one that would be the FBI coming to get them. Throughout all of this I remained basically calm. When I first decided to go public with my Adult Only BBS, I had done a little research on my own. It would seem that "technically speaking", passing pornographic materials over the phone across state lines IS illegal, though I could find no case of any criminal charges being brought by the FCC. When I called the FCC and asked them, they said that the policy was to "ignore" private BBSs, because of the high cost of trying to shut them all down. That they would only act if there were a complaint. That was basically what I expected, from my knowledge of how they treated radio offenders. Re-assured by this, I went ahead and opened up my BBS for public use, it having been an Invite Only BBS before then. Since I had been a Sysop and Co-Sysop in the area for several years, I knew almost every person that called in, so Validations went quickly. On the few people that I did not know, I requested a Xerox of their Driver's License or Military ID, or offered to meet them in person to satisfy myself they were over 18 (my minimum age for Adult Access). Out of the many Users I soon had calling my BBS, I met several, and only had to file two copies of ID. By this time, many of the Sysops in the area had begun to delete their Adult Users until ALL of them furnished ID proving age, which made little sense, since they also knew almost all of their Users. I was able to reason with a few of them, and only really failed with one. He had gone to a lawyer, who had informed him that the ONLY way to protect himself was to have ID on file for EVERY User that had Adult access. I tried to show him that this was not true, that he would only need proof on those he did not know, because an ID problem would never arise with someone he KNEW was over his minimum age. He refused to accept this, and so I furnished him with a copy of my ID. The main reason I did this was because of a marvelous Net I had discovered over a year before. I was making a few long distance telephone calls, and discovered a brand new Net, one that was only echoing to about 5 BBSs, but that interested me because of it's content. I had just discovered ThrobNet, an Adult Only Net System with a lot of ambition. I talked with the Sysop of the Hearthrob BBS, the home base for the Net, and got to know him pretty well. I began to spread the word about ThrobNet, and slowly, over the next year, it had exploded across the country, growing quite large and diverse. In the beginning, I was calling long distance to New Jersey, where HTBBS is located, about once a week, which was getting a little too expensive for me at 1200 baud. Unfortunately, I had discovered several people that shared many of my wide and diverse interests, not all of which included the Adult aspects of the Net. Out of respect for the others online, we limited our non-Adult msging to Receiver Only msgs, but made full use of all the available sections online. Not long after deciding that I could not do without the continued contact with so many of the good friends I had rapidly made, I upgraded to 2400 baud, which lessened the pressure the phone company was putting on me. Unfortunately, the pressure was still overwhelming, so I talked one of the IBM BBSs in my area into echoing ThrobNet. The Sysop called in, got an application, and before too long, there was a ThrobNet Node in my area. Now, all of the Users of my BBS were suddenly given a much larger exposure to Adult msging, because by this time ThrobNet had grown considerably, and there were constantly new msgs coming in from all over the country. Most of my Users were overwhelmed, and did not participate, just read the msgs and then logged off. A select few jumped in with both feet, and my wife smiled, happy that I was no longer calling to NJ to keep in touch. I soon made a small reputation for myself, along with one or two of the Ladies on the Net, and I was replying to upwards of 40 msgs a day. The Net covers many Adult subjects with it's Conferences, and not all of them are just people "talking dirty" to each other. There is a "SexHelp" Conference, for people that feel they need advice from others concerning problems they may be having, or just want opinions from others that may have gone through an experience they may be going through now. There is an "Issues" Conference, where people discuss issues concerning Sexually Active people everywhere, whether they be disease or legislation, or anywhere in between. There is a "Writers" Conference, obviously for those of us who are aspiring writers. Here people can submit some of their writing for critique, or discuss story ideas with other Users, or even write a continuing story, with a different User writing each installment, and a "Gay" Conference, concerning matters of importance to homosexual members of society. Then, of course, come the many Conferences dedicated to the practice and discussion of....well, sex. Though not unlimited, there are quite a few Conferences available, covering many different aspects of the subject. A partial listing of topics includes "Fantasy", where Users describe and share, and sometimes help each other create, their fantasies. "SexTalk", a conference where people come to specifically write msgs to each other, written as if they people involved were actually doing the things mentioned in the msgs. This is the Conference where you are supposed to come to "act out" the things discussed elsewhere. "S&M", dedicated to the practice of that particular sideline. Not one of my favorite Conferences, but I do occasionally look in to see what is going on. "Swingers", a Conference where people into "swinging" can go to discuss subjects relative to them, or even make contacts for later encounters. And several other Conferences which escape me at the moment, except for these last two, less Adult Oriented, but no less a vital part of ThrobNet. "Violet's" is an Online bar. This is a place where you can come and relax before or after your activities in other sections on the Net, and can enjoy the delightful company of Violet, the barmaid and owner of the bar, and the wife of the owner of the Net. Violet is one of the many things that make ThrobNet a very enjoyable experience, even if you only choose to engage her in conversation, and not ask her to join you in another section of the Net (which she will do, if she likes you enough). And then, the other Conference, one which I have yet to enter, but I feel I shall have to sooner or later, if only out of curiosity. This last conference is called "Monty", and is oddly enough dedicated to those Monty Python fans throughout the country. I myself would like to see one of the Birmingham BBSs become a Node on ThrobNet, both to share my friends with those I've made here in B'ham, and to allow continued contact with these same friends once I am no longer able to travel to Birmingham myself. I have a feeling that many of you would enjoy yourselves enormously. ThrobNet is the single most responsive of the many Nets I have had the pleasure to be active in, and I've met a wide variety of people on it. Writers, military, consultants in many fields, executives, Crafters, geniuses and idiots, and many, many friends.... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Better Sound Through Technology by Colby Gibson Being a music lover (no comments, please!) and a user, I love to do stereo experiments. Having done quite a few, I have hit upon several combinations that can help you get more out of your TV, stereo, and VCR. And speakers, to that matter. Please understand that I know many of you can do all of the things mentioned hereafter. This is only to help the ordinary person out a bit. 1. The Wimpy TV speaker. The little things that come in conventional TVs don't usually cut the mustard. Not enough bass, too little treble, and it won't go loud enough, etc. Do this: Go down to radio shack, and get a little speaker, say one with a small woofer and a small tweeter. Come home and open up your TV. You should be able to reach the little speaker in the front. If you can, you will notice two little wires attached to the TV. Get a soldering gun, and disconnect the two wires. Solder on two extensions to those two wires, and lead the extension outside of the TV and attach them to the speaker you bought. Remember, there is a certain pattern to the wires. there is a positive and a negative polarity. The positive on should be denoted by a white line on it or a red sheath. That is the one that should be connected to the positive terminal on the speaker. 2. The VCR problem.. At the last BTN party, i noticed that Mark Maisel has already done this to his. On the back of ANY VCR, there will be 1 or 2 jacks labeled "AUDIO OUT". (There will be two on stereo models). You should get a good bit of cord which has RCA connectors on the end. Connect the AUDIO OUT port(s) on the back of the VCR into the AUX input on the rear of your stereo receiver (provided you have one. If you don't, too bad.) Activate the VCR and AUX input, and you will get a much better sound coming out of the stereo. 3. I don't have a microphone. Well, I don't either. I built one, however. I took a little bitty speaker (one in Walkman headphones, they are the most sensitive.) and ran the input into the microphone input of my receiver. It worked great, despite a tad too much Bass. You can take ordinary headphones and do that, just experiment and try it out. 4. The midrange trick. The little wimpy speaker in your TV is probably what is called a FULL RANGE speaker, meaning it projects MIDRANGE, BASS, and TREBLE all together. Of course, its wattage (power intake) maximum is VERY small, say a watt or so, so the BASS isn't real great. You can take this FULLRANGE speaker, and transform it into a MIDRANGE or a TWEETER using a capacitor. You'll have to experiment to find out what microfarad range to use. You should then hook the capacitor between the speaker and the fullrange. Be sure that if you are using an electrolytic capacitor to connect the "+" wire on the capacitor to the first speaker, and the "-" side to the fullrange. Leave the negative speaker wire alone. This should work, just screw in the little fullrange to the speaker or stand it up on something. 5. Wiretap a phone! (Just kidding, you can record off your phone, though.) You probably know by now that there are two cords that operate an audio signal. That's the basis behind a phone wire system. Strip open a phone cord, and bare out the red and green wires. You can then take that and channel them into a tape recorder. It'll work great, but it makes a lousy speakerfone. I tried, and I nearly blew up my amplifier. You need a downstep transformer for something like that. 6. VHS is good tape! Just so everybody that reads BTN can laugh, my tape deck can no longer record. Yep, Bessie's knowledge of the world is growing shorter by the leap. I was thinking, " What else is there that I can record on?" I came across it. The VCR. I ran the Audio outs on the tape player into the audio in ports on the VCR and mashed Record. I tell you, it worked better than I thought for analog tape. If you have a desire to dub in something over something you are already recording, go ahead and do what I have just told you. Of course, you can't use it for a dubbing machine. 7. Let's talk stereo. Let's not, because my wimpy VCR isn't. But, there some souls that are fortunate to have them (My dad). Anyway, here is a list of parts and equipment that I have and have put into use (or rather used but they broke.) A whole buncha stereo wire (I found mine laid out beside a railroad track. Works great!) 1 Soldering Iron. 1 Pair Wire Strippers. A Whole buncha RCA adapters. A phillips head screwdriver. Various and Sundry Resistors. Various and Sundry Capacitors. Speaker parts. (Radio Shack sells these. Real exorbitant, too!) Woofers (that I saw) 4,8,10,12,15 inch. They sell a whole BUNCH of midranges and tweeters. SubWoofers 12 inch. Maybe what I have written here helps some people get more out of their sound. Maybe it makes some people go deaf. Maybe it helps some people shock the hell out of themselves, but whatever the case, I hope it has helped. This much. Really. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Why I Compute By the enimit... inimit... R.J. Gumby Actually, I have no idea. No, that will never do. Maisel wants an ARTICLE, not a tagline. Let's try this again. Hmm. Maybe a little history would help... It all started on a day in mid-1981. It was mid-summer, and I was bored. When my father came back from work bearing several large boxes, I was naturally curious. "What's that?" "An Atari 800 computer." "Well... what does it do?" "Lots of things. You can type files and save them, you can run all kinds of programs, and you can play games." Well, I was hooked. Twenty minutes (and several puzzled searches through the instructions) later, it was complete. An Atari 800 computer, with 64K RAM, el cheapo mini-TV monitor, two joysticks, and a cassette tape drive (ecch!). I immediately set to the first of the two games he'd bought, "Canyon Climber". Indeed, I was hooked. After moving up to a disk drive (and more and better games), I figured I was set for life. After a few years of relatively stable computing, my world was changed, yet again. This time, it was a modem. "Okay, so what's this little thing?" "A modem. It lets your computer... talk to others." "Why would I want to do that?" "Well, you can send messages back and forth, trade files, that kind of thing." "Why not? Plug it in." So I began my oh-so-brief adventure with Compuserve. We had a registration packet, and I signed up eagerly. I chatted with people from across the nation. I played chess with a guy from California. I braved the wilds of Flying Buffalo games. I looked at the bill. Oops. That ended pretty quick. I had heard of the local, free boards, but had never deigned to actually call them. Now, since Compuserve had turned out to be a bust, I decided to get out the list and try a few. The first one on the list? "Birmingham BBS/Protective Life". At first, I was (VERY) wary. I mean, I was really new to this. I took a look around the board. Messages... files... no big chat nets, and I missed those. But I decided to give it a try. I dropped a few messages, expecting to get blasted for saying the wrong thing. I checked out the files (useless, as I found out. IBM games don't work on Atari computers. Oops.) I looked at the bulletins... A BBS list! Eagerly, I copied down the numbers. I disconnected, and began trying them, one after the other. And that's how I joined the Birmingham BBS scene. I called them all - Gamer's Connection, the Race Base, Music Alley, Misty Mountain (once, in fact, before I found out that 300 baud modems weren't looked upon with favor). I was hooked. Then I got the IBM. "Oh, this is like your computer, right?" "Almost." My father had been using an IBM for some months. I found it entertaining, at most. "Ok, what's the difference between this and the Atari?" "Well, this one has more storage space, a faster modem, and you can play better games on it." "Sounds good to me. Let's hook it up." It was a Franklin IBM PC/XT clone (still is, actually - I'm typing this article on it) with a 20 meg hard drive, 640K RAM, a 1200 baud modem, and a CGA monitor. (I know, I know. It was cool back then.) I immediately noticed the change in speed. Messages no longer crawled down the screen, they... walked. I downloaded a few files, and figured out what ".ARC" meant. I joined more message bases. I thoroughly enjoyed the new computer. As I upgraded the old system, the BBS world changed. I moved up to a 2400 baud modem, and was able to call Misty Mountain with impunity. When it switched over to IBM, I was there. I was a member of Apple Valley PCBoard before it left, and I was an eager user of Scott Ferguson's Penny Arcade. I switched up to an EGA monitor with more storage so I could get to the really GOOD games. One last milestone... the Crunchy Frog. "Crunchy Frog? Wait a minute, that had to be a joke!" Indeed. In the Bus BBS's logoff screen, I had caught a glimpse of the words "Crunchy Frog" and a telephone number. Being an avid Monty Python fan, I (Officially) Got The Joke, and decided to call. "Too much. Too much." I kept repeating it, like a mantra, as the opening screen scrolled past. "Your SysOp: Monty"? Hmm. Looks like they allowed handles. So what was I going to do? I was already known on most of the boards as Time Lord, but I wanted a change. I ran through the possibilities in my head. "Hmm. The Bishop? No, I don't think so... Mr. Pither? Naahh... Ooo! Sir Robin! No, no... think..." As if of their own volition, my fingers typed, "R.J. Gumby". "Hey, that'll do." And the rest, they say, is history. Now, then, why do I compute? Hey, it's fun. A release from the normal, everyday kind of pressures. I get to be someone else... like a Supreme Being warring with Dean for control of the known universe. Or the mad scientist Time Lord from the ST BBS. Or His Eternal Majesty, Pope Pope Pope, Praetor, General, Sir, D.D.S., D.V.M. (And All-Around Nice Guy) R.J. Gumby. So now you know. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A Review of File Finder Pack FFF33.ZIP. . . . 59,201 FF2.COM & FFF.EXE 10-02-90 by Henry Barfoot Usage: Find files across hard drive(s), directories/sub-directories, inside archived files (ZIP ARC LZH) Command line switches for both programs are configurable as default and include: Comma delimited listing Quiet mode Full path name only Also look inside archives Filename.ext only Only look inside archives List in bat. file format Extended directory search Pause when screen is full Greater or equal to mm-dd-yy Single dir. search Less than or equal to mm-dd-yy If you keep archived files on your hard drives, these programs should be in your DOS path statement! Say, for instance, you want to find a particular *.DBS file and you know it is in one of the (100 or so) archived files on your hard drive but you don't know which one. You could do a lot of searching through those archived files one at a time, and still possibly overlook it. Or you could use one of these (FF2.COM/FFF.EXE) handy programs and search all the files at once. The output (or what these programs are finding) may be sent to the screen, pausing at each screen full, or redirected to various kinds of output files that you can LIST or edit on completion. Some of these output files include: comma delimited listings, for importing into spreadsheets or data base programs, listings that can be used as batch files, long and short listings containing full path name and filename only, respectively. Finding files hidden inside of archives is just an excellent feature of this file finding utility, not a limitation! Both programs can search for any file across your drives using the full file name or the familiar DOS wildcard characters. As if this wasn't enough power, FFF.EXE (Fullscreen FileFinder) also has programmed Hot Keys to call Vern Buerg's LIST.COM to browse a highlighted file, Sammy Mitchell's Qedit program to edit a highlighted file and Jim Derr's own !!SHEZ!, a complete archive shell program that will do almost anything imaginable with archived files With FF2 you can specify from (the command line) to execute a command on all the files found in a search. This may be a DOS command or another program to run on all the files found. FFF.EXE, the Fullscreen Filefinder is even more flexible. It allows you to search the same way as with FF2.COM but gives you the options of highlighting a single file to run a command on, or tagging several files found and running the same command on all of them. Or, with a simple keystroke, you can jump to the directory of the highlighted file. You may also execute any one of the newly found files with a keystroke. Either of these files would be a great file finder, but they are both included in the (FFF33.ZIP) archive. They will be well worth the small registration fee required for continued use! ed. This article appears courtesy of Files & Stuff Magazine and is reprinted from the January 1991 issue. MM ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Review Of Commo Version 4.4 Terminal Emulation Program by Sid Browning COMMO, pronounced with a short O as in the word communication, is a good terminal emulation program which takes very little memory to operate. The program itself is smaller than 30k, add the support files and the entire application is smaller than 45k. It can operate with about 40k of free RAM. My first reaction to such a small program was, "Ok, that's good if you are in a memory crunch, but I like bells and whistles." But, COMMO is not really as spartan as you would think. The application developer, Fred P. Brucker, included a very versatile macro language which allows the user to add some features that the program lacks. As an example, COMMO has no built-in scroll-back capabilities. Scroll-back is a feature that I use extensively. Brucker made it possible to accomplish the same thing by adding a macro to review the capture file. Assuming you have a capture file open, and a text viewer such as LIST or BROWSE, you have a scroll-back feature. Of course, this is not as simple as scroll-back, but it works. The macro language itself is very simple and easy to use. Someone with no programming knowledge whatsoever can write a macro for COMMO after glancing over the documentation. It is a free-form structure with only a few simple rules. All macro commands are contained in braces {}. Three characters in braces are a macro identification. Macros can be called from a key identification, from the macro processor or macros can be called automatically from the dialing directory or upon program start-up. Macros may also be called by other macros. Macros can be written with any ascii text editor, or with COMMO's built-in ascii text editor. A few macros are contained in a sample macro file which can be used immediately. PCBoard log-in scripts, Compuserve log-in scripts, DSZ transfer protocols and scrollback are a few of the included macros. One reason COMMO is so small is that the only built-in file transfer protocol is for ascii transfers. There is good documentation to explain how to add external protocols. It took me about 15 minutes to download a DSZ package, unzip it and get it installed. The macro for file transfers is already there. You simply have to tell COMMO where to find the protocol files and it will take it from there, including sounding an alarm when the transfer is complete. There is also a capability for automatically receiving files when transferred with certain protocols. Although the addition of a protocol package adds to file space this program will use, many users add a 55k DSZ package to a terminal emulation program anyway. I will say that I prefer more information during a transfer than is given by the DSZ package. So this is a drawback to COMMO, but only a minor one. An interesting part of COMMO is its on-line help feature. If the user allows COMMO access to its 28k help file, there is context sensitive help available at almost any time. It is a pretty simple procedure to write a macro defining a key to bounce to any area of the help file also. The interesting part is that the help file is an ascii text file. The user can use COMMO's ascii editor to modify the help file. I deleted a few parts I didn't need to make the file a little smaller. If someone were setting up a system for a user that may need more explicit instructions, this would be a useful feature. The dialing directory is also an ascii text file which can be edited and modified with COMMO's editor. The directory, like the macros, also has a free form structure. It is the user's choice whether to use features available from the directory. For example, if the code: {00/00/00} is included as part of a directory entry, COMMO will increment to keep track of the last date that entry was connected. If your password is added to the directory entry, then pressing ALT-P will send your password. As an alternative, macros can be a part of each entry for automatic log-on. According to the documentation, it has room for "hundreds of entries." A few items that COMMO has which may not be unique, but deserve mention include a switchable modem signal lights feature. I haven't found this to be extremely useful, even with an internal modem, but its interesting anyway to see what is going on with the phone line. COMMO can use either the 8250, 16450 or the 16550 UART chip. Like many other terminal emulation programs, COMMO will ask the user whether it should initialize the modem on start-up. The program also has a chat mode, a doorway mode, screen image save and a connection log. One part of COMMO which may be a drawback to some users is that it can only emulate three terminal types: ANSI, VT-102 and TTY. Another flaw I found is that the text editor can only open the macro file, the dialing directory file or the configuration file. It doesn't seem like it would be that difficult to make the editor capable of being used for editing messages and other things. COMMO was written by Fred P. Brucker and can be registered for $25. He will mail a copy of the program for $5, or it can be downloaded from several Birmingham boards such as "The Crunchy Frog" and "Radio Free Troad." Brucker will provide technical assistance by voice at (707) 573-1065 or through the "Directory Assistance" BBS at (707) 538-8710. COMMO's documentation is fairly good, but brief. It is only sixty six pages and can be printed in about half that, without losing anything of substance, if you take the time to delete some extraneous material. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Review: The Telegard BBS by Steven Capps, Remote Sysop: The Levee BBS Last year, under the pen name of Duck Capps, I explored the intricacies of a WWIV bulletin board system. Since then, several things have happened. First off, both of the WWIV systems I was Co-Sysop of went down due to various financial reasons. So, for about a 6 month period, I was left without a place to wield power. Now, one of the BBS' (The Electric Requiem) has come back up under a different name (The Levee), and the other (The Cathouse) will be back up by the beginning of March. Also, on The Levee I was promoted to Remote Sysop due to the vast amounts of time I spent and still spend modding the board and keeping it going. At any rate, both of the BBS's have undergone significant changes, one of which is common to both: the BBS software. The new software under scrutiny is Telegard. The Telegard BBS is the brain child of three men: Martian Pollard and Eric Oman, also known as the Telegard Development Team, and is copyrighted by Oman Technologies Inc. The BBS's initial concept was actually from WWIV, so Wayne Bell, the author of WWIV, actually is the "Grandfather" of Telegard. Telegard has had many, many releases, the latest of which, and incidentally, the last, is 2.5i. The reason it will be the last will be discussed later. Telegard 2.5i is what will be used for the examples in this article. Telegard is the most versatile and modifiable boards I have had the pleasure to work with. Unlike WWIV, you do not need the source code to change things on the board, because everything can be changed to look any you want it too from within the BBS. I can call remotely and decide I don't like a prompt and change it's whole outlook in a matter of minutes. You can personalize everything about the board, and you can even make it call the user by name. It has MCI codes that can be used to call user info into prompts, doors and texts files varying from handles to the users address, all without any additional modding or programming. The system is really sectioned off into three main sections, with several other smaller specialized sections. The three main sections are: The main section (seen when entering on most boards), the files section, and the message base section. First we'll examine the main section of the system. When you first hook into a Telegard BBS, the first thing that greets you is a line of text saying it is a Telegard system, who wrote it and by whom it is copyrighted. After choosing ANSI or ASCII modes, you are greeted with a welcome screen usually reflecting a little of the boards attitude or personality. On The Levee, we have several screens that have a Led Zeppelin tone, due to the fact that Led Zeppelin is the theme of our board. This may seem very apparent, but you can tell alot about how a system might be due to it's first impression. The you enter your real name or handle (if allowed. All Birmingham Telegard system at the writing of this article allow handles), your password, and --POOF-- your in. After that initial welcome is where you can tell how much a sysop may have done with his board. It might have system news, status screens, top twenty lists, quoters, and many other mods which all add to the personality of the board. After all this initial hoopla, you will be in the main section of the BBS. This is the section where every other section can be accessed. This section is not the same on every system because the commands, sections, menus, and prompts can all be changed to taste. It could be changed to look like many other systems or a system like no one has seen before of your own design! This is where you can go to the voting booth, online games menu, personal data set-up menu, your stats... The list goes on and on. You can also access the file and message sections. Let's look now at the message set-up. The message bases are set up strikingly familiar to WWIV's, but with a more enhanced look. The different sections have a number and name, usually displayed at the prompt. You can press "]" and "[" to go up and down till you get to the sub of your choosing. When you get to a sub you wish to look in on, you press the letter "S" for scan and it asks you at which message to start. After entering the number, it displays the titles of the next 10 messages with asterisks next to the messages you haven't read yet. If you wish to scan all the new messages in all the bases, press "N" at the main prompt for a global scan. You can even set the bases you want to be scanned! (As I said, very similar to WWIV). On to the subject of netting. Well, let's be frank, with Telegard, it's a ugly way to net, but it is there. You can net with FidoNet (the world's largest data transmitting network, picked up by the Telegard system The Outer Limits here in town), or you can net with other Telegard's. You have a choice of two transmitting forms, group mail or echo mail, both having advantages and disadvantages. This is the biggest hassle with Telegard because of the massive amounts of time it takes to set up and the extra programs needed to run it. The idea of a small local Telegard net is being tossed around between ZoSo, the Sysop of The Levee, Mickey Rat, the future sysop of The Cathouse, and myself. It might take a while to implement though. The file section, as in the message section, is set up very similarly to WWIV's with one big difference, the amount of files that can be put in one section. Telegard can hold up to twice the amount of off-line file names or the actual files per section. After that, it get strikingly familiar again, with batch modes and an archiving section to look into files like WWIV. Again though, since the menu's and prompts and commands can be changed, this can be made to look totally different than when it was first initialized. All of this makes Telegard a choice for a sysop with time and imagination on his hands. While I am talking BBS software, let me get off the beaten path on a question that has caused much debate on some WWIV's in the area lately, the question of age pertaining to the type of software used. It has been said by me that WWIV and Telegard system are for a younger breed of sysop and not used by the older group of sysops here in Birmingham. This made some people get mad because they thought the systems were being called systems for "babies". This was not the case, and I apologize for anyone who was offended. I simply stated that it was usually the case in Birmingham. Outside the local BBS scene many older people use the software and have since it came out in 1988. Again, I'm sorry for any misunderstandings. As I said earlier, this will be the last officially released version of the Telegard system software. Eric Oman, one of the authors of the BBS and owner of the company with it's copyright quit working on it because "the fun has gone out of it", and slapped his co-author Martin Pollard with a law suit when he tried to continue with the project. But fear not, a new system, supposedly called Martygard, will be out within the next year shaving execution time and memory size off the Telegard format with all its advantages and more. It will even come with a program to convert a Telegard system over to Martygard (So any new sysops thinking about using Telegard but have heard the rumors, go ahead and go for it.) Look for this exciting system in the area soon. So, that's Telegard. A powerful yet easy to use system. User friendly, as well as sysop friendly. Easily modifiable, yet not sloppy. Thanks for your time, and look for updates on the local net and Martygard as they come... Thanks to Jeff Vaughn (aka Zoso) for help on some of the specs on Telegard. Hasta Pasta.... WWIV is copyrighted by Wayne Bell 1987-1991 Telegard is copyrighted by Oman Technologies 1988-1990 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- BTN Party Questionnaire by Eric Hunt Here it is, what you've all been waiting for, the BTN Bash Questionnaire results!! On the night of January 19th, 1991, the first BTN party of the TRUE 90's took place. As it was taking place, these strategically placed questionnaires were circulating about the Maisel house. We garnered 38 responses, a very healthy sampling, indeed. The top five responses from each of the 25 questions will be presented here, along with any other exceptionally weird or noteworthy responses, along with my comments on most everything. One last thing before I get started: You people are just plain weird. That's all there is to it. #1) Why are you here? A) There wasn't room for me there B) My car broke down on this street. I had to use your phone C) Men in tight boxer shorts and loose socks. D) For the fish of it. (* I have yet to figure this one out*) E) I seek the holy Grail. #2) No, really, WHY ARE YOU HERE? A) Well, to be REALLY honest, I was hoping Dean would actually strip this time! God what a body! B) If you really want to know, I can't remember anything except orange juice and a wet towel. C) OK, I'm really an alien sent to watch social rituals of HOMO SAPIENS D) My time was out on Crunchy Frog E) To find myself. (* Not at a BTN party, you won't, you're more likely to become even more lost.*) #3) Who did you come with? This was a bad question for a BTN bash. Most of the answers cannot be reported in a family publication such as ours. Make your own conclusions. A) My trusty manservant Patsy B) I'm not sure.....what's his name......my husband....... C) My alter ego, Bubba D) Elvis Presley (* You didn't publicize it well enough, I'm afraid) E) A person. I think? #4) Are you someone's proxy? Unfortunately, quite a few people left this one blank. Here's the Webster's dictionary definition of a "proxy:" A) Proxy? You've just had something in your mouth that I wouldn't hold in my hand! B) Dean burped at me, so make your own decision. (* Were you knocked over by the tequila fumes? *) C) I don't book for nobody. Watch yo mouth! D) Only if it is politically expedient E) GOD (* Don't EVEN ask me what this person was thinking of when he put that *) #5) Did you park in the right place, etc? A) C'mon, when are you guys gonna upgrade to teleportation? B) I don't travel by car. (* If not, I'm afraid to ask what you DO travel by. Hmmmmmm. *) C) Oh Sh*! Back in a minute........ D) No. We got thrown out. E) I don't drive I am 8 years old!! (* Sarah was taught honesty, wasn't she? *) Lastly, many many people attempted to park cars and/or space cruisers of many descriptions on the roof. Modernists. #6) Since it wasn't explicitly banned in the invitation, have you felt Maggie's breasts? Was it good? A) No, but I was shown some rather large ones in a lace teddy. (* OK, Valeria was a showoff that night, don't gloat over it! *) B) No, but Kathy's were nice. (* Mark???? *) C) No, the line was too big (* Maggie, is this a good or bad sign? *) D) As a matter of fact, I showered with them earlier this evening! (* Shame on you Maggie, you know that causes blindness! [grin] *) E) It wasn't banned? Are you sure? Then hang on a minute while I go hunt Maggie.... (* RUN, Maggie, RUN! *) There were many other responses, all very interesting. This was the most interesting question as far as responses go. One last note: Maggie, we've asked everyone else THEIR opinion, but in YOUR opinion, was it good? #7) If 10 seconds of any part of your life could be recorded permanently for all mankind to see for all eternity, what would you be doing? A) Feeling Maggie's breast (* Maggie must have had fun that night *) B) Scratching my armpit. C) Stroking my.......spider (* What a MAN you are Kevin. I envy you *) D) What every idiot does in front of a camera: Wave and say "HI! Mom!" E) Using a .357 on my TI-99 By far the two most popular responses dealt with either sleeping, or something perverted that cannot be printed here. #8) What has Sarah said to you tonight? Was it profound? A) Who's Sarah? B) Doc!! You're late!! C) Nothing -- I threatened her with her life if she spoke to me. D) "Be my love slave" It changed my life. (* No, I DON'T think Sarah said that to you. You are obviously deluded *) E) "I'm going to kick Michael someplace" #9) Is Ricky Eanes here? If so, what has he said to you? Was it profound? A) He has already been taken care of by Richard Foshee. B) I would kill him or break his little fingers (* Take heart, Ricky, it's not as bad as it seems. Most people had no idea who you were! Obviously, you are not working hard enough. *) C) UK. (* You figure this one out, I sure can't *) D) Ricky's absence is quite profound! E) "Touch me naked!" (* Poor Ricky, first Mark wanted to bond with him, and now this. *) #10) How many drinks has Dean had? A) I don't keep up with Dean....That's his mother's job....She gets no more than a "D" B) The way Dean mixes drinks, one will do. C) Not enough to strip. (* Dean, ever considered a burlesque career? *) D) SAAB (* I haven't had any insight on this one yet, either*) E) Infinity raised to the infinity power. (* That's a lotta tequila! *) Of the people who gave NUMBERS, the average number of drinks Dean consumed that night was: 26.29. This average does not include the 1^(-2435), the 31^24, the 10^8, and the infinity raised to the infinity. #11) What do you get when you cross a Rex with a Rhode Island Red? A) That damn V.32 logon sequence! B) An irritated RI Red. C) A rooster that humps your leg. (* Not quite *) D) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (* HAHAHAHH! *) E) A happy Rex (* That sounds more like it *) #12) What IS all this NET/Mail crap we've been seeing? A) I dunno, but I suspect Rocky is trying to take over the world. (* Good guess! *) B) Wet dreams (* You people are BIZARRE! *) C) Echoed dribble. D) A conglomeration of Equine droppings? (* Weird, weird *) E) Omega Ohm trying to get into EZNet #13) Has Mark Kieskowski (Omega Ohm) started dancing yet? If so, with whom? And to what style of music? A) Yes, with Richard Foshee. Can't seem to hear it [the music] (*Hmmmmm. Some latent tendencies showing there, Mark? *) B) Oh no! He's disco-ing and dances like a white boy! C) Not that I've seen. We'll feel the foundation shake if he does. D) He's a floppy tonight! (* No comment *) E) No, but he is showing and intense interest in some Willie Nelson tapes! #14) Did Kevin remember your name? If so, how many times has he repeated it? A) I don't remember who Ke....Kelvi...... Oh forget it! B) He's not here you poof! C) Yes. 1^(-2435) D) Kevin? Kevin?? E) No, but Omega Ohm did. (* What DID Omega did? *) Many, MANY people had not the faintest idea who our resident party animal, Kevin Buchan, is, or why he would be repeating a name. Suffice it to say that EtOH does strange things to him. #15) Does Monty (Kathy M.) smell funny? Get REAAALLLL close first before sniffing. A) I dunno. She had Kleenex on her elbow. Post nasal drip, I guess. B) "Nothing can penetrate THIS stuffy nose" C) My wife gets extremely jealous when I sniff other women. D) Yes. She reeks of Spam. E) She smells HOT! (* Got that animal magnetism going for you there Kathy, eh? *) #16) How many people are in the computer room? A) As many as will fit. B) 6.3 (* I'm afraid to ask who's in more than one place simultaneously *) C) I left my calculator at home. D) "Touch me naked!" (* I swear, you people DEFINE the term bizarre!! *) E) Too damn many The average number of people in the computer room was 5.025. This does not take into consideration the ridiculously low and outrageously high numbers that some people put. #17) Ladies, go growl at Lurch and see what he does. Men, you can go growl at him too, but don't expect the same response. A) I'll pass and go feel Maggie's breasts again. (* Maggie's getting quite popular, isn't she? *) B) He hit me. C) You misspelled "too" (* SO SUE ME!! GRAMMAR COP!! *) D) No way man! Not that big dude! E) He fled in panic. (* Lurch? I doubt it. *) #18) If you could have fun on a holodeck, who's holodeck would it be, and what would you be doing? A) Scram, ya trekkie (* Obviously one who does not appreciate the finer things in life..... *) B) I am not sure, but broccoli would DEFINITELY be involved. (* I'm not EVEN gonna ask.... *) C) I have too much fun to waste any time on a holodeck. (* Ohhhhh but DO you? hehehhehe *) D) Mine, having a roni. (* weird *) E) What in the world is holodeck? (* Unfortunately, many people had the same sentiments *) #19) What is a .QWK packet, and how should it be treated? A) With extreme care, they tend to combust. B) Dunno. It should be treated the opposite of a .SLO packet. (* Everyone's a wise guy...... *) C) A quickie, with style and gusto! D) Sauteed in garlic butter. Well chewed. E) A bunch of Geese sounds. #20) Have Lee and Randy found new hard drives? If so, who supplied them? A) I would suspect Maisel had something to do with it. B) They found them at the bottom of Lake Michigan. C) I have found that when dealing with people, you should not ask such personal questions. D) Probably their girlfriends, if they have them. E) Yes -- Satan. #21) If a person named Shafer came up and kissed you, what would you do? A) Depends. Did he do it to Foshee first? (* Why don't YOU ask him? *) B) Slip him the tongue. (* Shafer would like that, believe me. *) C) Probably puke on him to express my affection. He'd like that. D) Kiss back! YUM! (* I wouldn't be so eager if I were you *) E) Kick him in the crotch (* hehehehehhee only if you knew *) #22) Where do you work? What do you do? (Be specific) A) I do not work. I am trapped in Dean's closet. HELP! (* I do pray for your soul, I do. *) B) I don't. I just stand and stare at people. C) I work at UPS. I fondle packages and make sure they get to where they need to be. (* After the fondling, I don't think they wanna leave the distribution site! *) D) In a subterranean kingdom. Rule with a firm (but gentle) hand. (* Go away. We know all about your types. *) E) Slaving over a sink of dirty dishes (* Hey! Wake up! It's 1991 and dishwashing machines are a dime a dozen! *) Most people actually put their real occupations. Sad.... #23) Please go pray to Bob. What did he say? A) "You need more slack" (* The most believable answer of the night *) B) Go and be profound. (* Someone told Ricky this, and he's taken it a bit too seriously *) C) (FLUSH) (* I didn't know Bob was like that, I must start praying more often *) D) Bob only speaks through an oracle now. Everyone knows that. E) Sorry, I don't pray, I prey. #24) What is the current state of the papacy? A) He's boogieing on the Sistine Chapel (* Get down R.J.! *) B) Stationary, but a high pressure zone is on its way. C) I think Italy. (* Duuuuhhhhh...... I TOLD you truthful answers would be ridiculed. *) D) West Virginia. Really. E) Colorado F) Kansas. The last three responses were true. No telling what kind of shape the people were in when they answered that question. #25) Why are you answering these godawful dumb questions? A) For the fish of it. (* I don't see the logic in that statement *) B) I'm a sadist and a masochist. (* Truueee..... *) C) Because my girlfriend says it will hep my English D) The Bishop's got a beer can full of Jello aimed at my head screaming "ANSWER THEM!" Good enough? (* Yes, but the real question is why was the Jello screaming? *) E) Because Maggie was with me! She made me! (* Ahhh, she's got you where she wants you, eh Lee? *) All in all, this was a very informative and eye opening questionnaire. The true spirit of the BBS community I feel comes out in things such as this. Again, all I can say is that you people are genuinely weird, twisted, perverted, and otherwise affected in some strange, demented way. Just remember to pray to Bob nightly. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ProFile by Chris Mohney The ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham. Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the notorious Hat. Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect. Anyone who wishes to suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their knowledge may take the same route.... --------- PRO FILE: Colby Gibson --------- Age: 15 years Birthplace: Birmingham Occupation: School Laborer My hobbies include: Telecomputing, electronics, loud music, etc. Years telecomputing: 7 Sysop, past/present/future of: Nothing (Hopefully soon, though) My oddest habit is: Tapping the reciever on my phone incessantly. My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: To get rid of my Biology teacher. The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is: I was actually able to afford this 386. My favorite performers are: Phil Collins, Janet Jackson, Information Society. The last good movie I saw was: Total Recall The last good book I read was: The Essential Calvin and Hobbes If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played by: Harrison Ford My pet peeves are: My Biology teacher, work, and duplicate messages. When nobody's looking, I like to: Point at them and silently laugh. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Special Interest Groups (SIGs) BEPCUG CCS Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128) 3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga) Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM Maurice Lovelady 684-6843 BCCC BIPUG Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541 UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week 2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday) Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883 BACE FAOUG Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users Enthusiast Group Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library 2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200 CADUB CAD Users of Birmingham Homewood Library 3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM Bobby Benson 791-0426 Š If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed, please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on The Matrix BBS. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE SUPPORTED TYPE * Abject Poverty 680-9680 300-2400 ProBBS/ProDoor * Alter-Ego BBS 925-0707 300-2400 MNP4 ProBBS/ProDoor * American BBS 674-1851 300-2400 PC Board 14.5 Amiga Alliance ][ 631-0262 300-2400 Ami Express Arkham Asylum 853-7422 300-2400 WWIV 4.12 Bloom County 856-0587 300-2400 PC Board 14.5 -* Bus System 595-1627 300-2400 PC Board 14.2 * Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-9600 USR HST WWIV 4.12 Camelot BBS 856-0679 300-2400 Telegard 2.5 -* Channel 8250 Node 1 744-8546 300-9600 USR DS PC Board 14.5 -* Channel 8250 Node 2 744-5166 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.5 * Crunchy Frog 956-1755 300-9600 USR DS PC Board 14.0 DataLynx 322-3425 300-2400 Oracomm Plus Graphics Zone Node 1 870-5306 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16) Graphics Zone Node 2 870-5329 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16) + I.S.A. BBS 995-6590 300-9600 USR HST TCOMM -* Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-2400 MNP4 PC Board 14.2 K-9 Corner 424-8202 300-2400 Image 1.2 *& Little Kingdom Node 1 969-0007 300-9600 USR DS PC Board 14.5 *& Little Kingdom Node 2 969-0008 300-2400 MNP4 PC Board 14.5 LZ Birmingham 870-7770 300-2400 PC Board 14.5 * Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.2 @ Missing Link 853-1257 300-2400 Image 1.2 ^ Myth Drannor 699-5811 1200-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11 Outside It's America 951-2473 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11 Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-2400 PC Board 14.2 PC Echange Link 663-2759 300-9600 USR DS Quick BBS 2.04 @ Pirate's Cove 942-7429 300-1200 Image 1.2 Posys BBS 854-5131 1200-2400 RBBS CPC17.3 * Radio Free Troad 979-6183 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.2 Safe Harbor 665-4355 300-2400 GT Power 15.00 Shadetree BBS 787-6723 300-2400 Phoenix 1.36 Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-9600 Hayes PC Board 14.5 * ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PC Board 14.2 @ The Commodore Zone 856-3783 300-2400 Image 1.2 The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200-2400 PC Board 14.1 The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200-2400 PC Board 14.1 The Connection Node 3 854-0698 1200-2400 PC Board 14.1 The Crow's Nest 951-5678 300-2400 PC Board 14.2 The Dog House 425-9255 300-1200 Image 1.2 The Dragon's Hoard 833-3790 300-2400 WWIV 4.12 The Levee 681-8636 300-2400 Telegard 2.5i -* The Matrix Nodes 1-4 323-2016 300-2400 PC Board 14.5 -* The Matrix Node 5 251-2344 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.5 + The Outer Limits 985-1725 1200-9600 USR HST Teleguard 2.5i The Quiet Zone 833-2066 300-2400 ExpressNET * The Round Table 938-2145 300-2400 WWIV 4.11 VCM(ee) BBS Node 1 655-4059 300-2400 USR V.32 Oracomm Plus VCM(ee) BBS Node 2 655-4065 300-1200 Oracomm Plus Vampire's Crypt 833-8494 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.12 Victory Express 425-0821 300-1200 Image 1.2 Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300-2400 Oracomm Plus Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300-2400 Oracomm Plus Willie's DYM Node 3 979-7743 300-1200 Oracomm Plus Willie's DYM Node 4 979-8156 300-1200 Oracomm Plus Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300-1200 Unaxess Boards with a "*" before their name are members of our local network, EzNet, and public messages left in the EzNet Conferences of any of these boards will be echoed to all members. Boards with a "@" before their name are members of our local Commodore network, Image Network, and e-mail left on any member board may be directed to any other member board. Boards with a "+" before their name are members of FidoNet, an international network that provides a variety of public forums as well as private mail services all over the world. Boards with a "-" before their name are members of MetroNet, an international network that provides a variety of public forums as well as private mail services all over the world. Boards with a "^" before their name are members of WWIV-Net, an international network that provides a variety of public forums as well as private mail services all over the world. Boards with a "&" before their name are members of Intellec, an international network that provides a variety of public forums as well as private mail services all over the world. If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us know via EzNet. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- EzNet Multiple Echo List This is a list of the current echoes that we are aware of. More are in the making and will be posted in future issues. If you are a sysop and are running an echo not listed for your board, please make us aware of it so we may correct it next issue. E P I A S B A W Z r B d c T s e N o M u i N t b e g l t W r e t r t e A o s a c n y m h u s ------------------------------------------------------------------- Abject Poverty X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Alter-Ego X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- American BBS Not hooked into new central yet. MM ------------------------------------------------------------------- Bloom County X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Bus System X X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Byte Me! X X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Channel 8250 X X X X X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Crunchy Frog X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Joker's Castle X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Little Kingdom X X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- Magnolia BBS Not hooked into new central yet. MM ------------------------------------------------------------------- Radio Free Troad X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- ST BBS X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- The Matrix X X X X X X ------------------------------------------------------------------- The Round Table X ed. This is a test layout for the new echo list. Please post your comments, corrections, and suggestions for improving it. I'm not crazy about this layout but it is all that I could think of at the time it needed to get out. MM