BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News COPYRIGHT 1991 ISSN 1055-4548 June 1991 Volume 4, Issue 6 Table Of Contents ----------------- Article Title Author Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff Publisher's Corner.............................Mark Maisel Editorial .....................................Bill Freeman Why Should I Telecompute?......................Dean Costello Windows Column: WinQWK 1.20...................Eric Hunt The Adventures of R.G. Strangemind & Herbert...Jeremy Lewis Review: Procomm Plus 2.0......................Mark Maisel Notes From The Trenches........................Dean Costello A Day In The Life Of...........................Colby Gibson Video Electronics: Part 3.....................John Lane Are You A Twit?................................Unknown Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions, etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN, even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood of such damages occurring. With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article. Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles, please forward a copy of your publication to: Mark Maisel Editor, BTN 221 Chestnut St. BHM, AL 35210-3219 (205)-956-0176 We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing all of this and not get too serious about it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T ! The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no charge to any existing upload/download ratios. The Connection LZ Birmingham Alter-Ego Channel 8250 Little Kingdom Joker's Castle Crunchy Frog Myth Drannor Posys BBS The Matrix Abject Poverty The Bus The Outer Limits Bloom County The Round Table DC Info Exchange Radio Free Troad Programmers Shack Amiga Alliance ][ If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let me know via EZNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN distributor. Thanks. MM ----------------------------------------------------------------------- N E W S F L A S H You all had your chance. It is done now. I have removed the EZNet Echo List as I've decided, sans your input I might add, since none of you seemed concerned about its continuance or removal. I may be talked into returing it if there is any desire for it. Oh yes, it is that time again... At long last, and after much rejoicing, it is time to announce the next in the long running series of extravaganzas and soires sponsored by BTN, Birmingham Telecommunications News. The party will occur in Birmingham, at the home of Rocky Rawlins, on June 15th, from 6 p.m. until we feel like it or he throws us out. The following is a map describing the general vicinity in which you will find Rocky's house. If you have any questions or contributions, call me at the number on the map. This especially applies to your out-of-towners who I know are just dying to drive across the country for a good time. <--- Downtown 20th Street Homewood ---> ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͸ ÕÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ ³ ³ ³ ³ MAP TO JUNE BTN PARTY ³ ³ ROCKY'S HOUSE UAB ³ ³11th HOME OF The MATRIX BBS CAMPUS ³ ³Ave. AREA ³ ³ Rocky Rawlins (205) 323-6608 ³ ³ Mark Maisel (205) 956-0176 ÚÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ Business ³ ³ ³ ³ ³³ (Next to the ³ ³ & ³ ³ ³ ³ ³³ last house ³ ³ Engineering³ ³ ³ ³ ³³ on the right) ³ ³16th School ÀÄÄÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³Ave (3 story brick) ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄXÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ ³ 11th ³³ 1426 ÛÛ ÛÛ³ ³ ³ ³ St S. ³³ 11th ³ ³ ³ ³ ³³ St. S ³ ³ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Publisher's Corner by Mark Maisel The summer is upon us, I noticed as I picked Sarah up from her last day of school today. The sweat running down my back reminded me of the not-so-good ole days when I worked outdoors every day. It wasn't a terribly pleasant memory but the realization that it was far behind me was most pleasing. I now have a nice little slave laborer for the summer and will be getting things done around the house. Aren't kids great? With summer, comes the return of the now famous BTN parties. If you missed it, the invitation and map precedes this article. Look there for details. My winter and spring ups & downs prevented a sooner occurrence so this one ought to be a big release for everyone. I will be relaxing myself. I spent May having all sorts of fun. Kathy and I had planned for many months to go to Wichita, Kansas for their River Festival where we were going to have a good time with ByteBrothers from all over the country. Afterward, we planned to go to Comdex, see the show, visit with friends, and party with more ByteBrothers. When push came to shove, not many made the trek to Wichita but we had a blast. The week prior, Kathy had been in hospital from a bad reaction to her medicine. The doctor gave her traveling papers two days before we were to leave. We drove nearly 3,000 miles, most of it with Richard Foshee at the wheel. He was especially interesting on the return trip. He kept mumbling something about a special incentive to get home. Anyway, May got shot quickly and now its party time again. Thanks to Rocky for bailing me out of host house duty. I wasn't ready for it even though I'd promised a party and would have done it anyway. Ya'll come and have a good time. Hopefully, the survivors of Spring Comdex '91 will have stories to tell in the form of articles next month. Things are slim this time around but they ought to be this time of year. There are too many other things to do outdoors to be tied to the computer writing articles. Of course, this doesn't let Chris Mohney, the ever late, missing even, ProFile meister, off the hook. Please berate him wherever you see him. I think he also should be harrassed for knuckling under to the demands of Crunchy Frog users so quickly while Monty was out of town. What a wimp! Ya'll have a good summer, and drop me an article every once in a while. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Editorial by Bill Freeman I just finished reading with interest this past month's issue of BTN. Kudos as usual to all the crew that put it together and make it happen on a regular basis. I noticed a comment in Eric Hunt's article that gave me great distress, however. He noted that our board, The Connection, has a file ratio. This is not correct. File ratios are, to use Mr. Hunt's words, "...the dreaded thing". I agree with his analysis of why they are used, but he doesn't talk about the important reasons why they are used, and didn't cover the difference in the two different types of ratios either. Most sysops do not want you downloading (transferring files from the BBS to your computer) files without contributing files yourself. To prevent "leeching", as uncontrolled downloading is called, sysops have developed the file transfer ratio. Two different kinds of ratios are generally used. One is a file ratio, which counts files (whether the file is very small or very large is not relevant), and other sysops use byte ratios (the one we use at The Connection). In either case, the ratio is generally a number expressed like 10:1, meaning that you can download 10 files before you have to upload 1 file. Byte ratios generally work the same way, meaning that you may download 10 bytes for every byte uploaded. Eric is correct in his warning: the ratio is different for every BBS, so check first! At The Connection, we used to use a file ratio system, where we were rather hard on those that downloaded without uploading. This was inequitable at best, and downright ugly at worst. PCBoard had some very rigid ways of calculating ratios, so that if you downloaded a single 2K file (very small), your ratio was a division of the downloads over your uploads, or 1/0. Ever tried to divide by zero on a computer? Such a thing gives a computer gastric distress and causes vomiting, usually on the part of the sysop. Users could not, under the old ratio system (which has since been improved) download even the smallest of files without suffering a decrease in their security level. They now can. Our system used to adjust both a users time and the size of files he could download based on his ratio. We changed systems several months ago, so that time is no longer affected at all. Everyone gets at least 30 minutes on the board, to look around, leave messages, and download. However, for heavy downloaders who don't upload, they're ability to download will decrease if they download lots more than they upload. So while they'll have their time remain the same, the ability to download is cut. On the other hand, people that upload more than they download may find both their time and their ability to download larger files increased. Its all very confusing, even for me, and the best way to explain the system might be to show you a couple of charts, and then explain each. These charts are the ones we are currently using at The Connection. Ratio Security Explanation =========================================================================== -100 10 Define each of the upload/download ratios desired -75 15 and attach a security level to each. To enter a -50 20 download to upload ratio, use a negative integer. -40 30 A positive integer indicates upload to downloads. -20 40 0 50 Examples: 20 60 -1000 means 100:1 or 100 dowloads bytes per 1 upload byte. 30 70 -75 means 7.5:1 or 7.5 download bytes per 1 upload byte. 40 80 0 means download bytes and upload bytes are equal. 50 90 50 means 1:5 or 1 download byte per 5 uploaded bytes. This chart sets our security levels by the related byte ratios. As you can see, a bulletin board user that downloads a 100 bytes without uploading anything would have a security level of 10, while a user that uploads 5 bytes for every byte he downloads has a security level of 90. Higher security levels generally have more privileges (time, downloads, etc.) than do the lower security levels. The security level you are given on a bulletin board determines your privileges on that bulletin board. Security levels are very important. What do security levels do? Well, here's another chart: Security Time K Bytes Base Baud Rate Batch Limit =============================================================== 10 30 0 2400 0 15 30 25 2400 5 20 30 50 2400 10 30 30 100 2400 15 40 30 200 2400 20 50 30 300 2400 20 60 40 400 2400 20 70 50 500 2400 20 80 60 750 2400 20 90 75 1000 2400 20 As this chart shows, people with a security level of 20 are allowed 30 minutes per day on the bulletin board, may download up to 50K of files per day (see below!), and may use batch transfers to grab up to 10 files at a time. The Base Baud Rate means that a user with a security level of 20 calling in at 2400 baud can download 50K per day. A caller with a security level of 20 calling in at 1200 baud could only download 25K per day (half that of a 2400 baud caller). This will ultimately let us adjust file availability not only by security, but also by baud rate, as it takes longer to transfer files at 1200 baud than it does at 2400 baud. This also encourages users to connect to the bulletin board at the fastest available speed. This ultimately makes the bulletin board available for more callers per day, and increases the utility of the bulletin board to the community. If it isn't apparent already, security levels and file/byte ratios are complicated. Six months ago, I wasn't sure how they worked. Even when I thought I was sure, sometimes the bulletin board seemed to have a mind of its own in setting security levels. I wish PCBoard had a feature to let SysOps give users 5-10K allowance per day. It wouldn't be difficult to do, and this would let users regain higher security levels over time, while still preventing any one user from downloading as many files as he could over a week. It would be a most welcomed feature, and provide for fair access to users. Of course, many users buy subscriptions to the bulletin boards that they find useful. The Connection is no different in this regard. We have many users that appreciate the service we provide, and want to do their part to help us continue providing a bulletin board to the community. When someone subscribes to our board, they get 90 minutes a day with unlimited downloads. We give them a security level of 91, which doesn't have any ratio at all. I also have a security level of 94, which I give to people that have done something special in relation to the bulletin board or the community. Generally, they have 60 minutes a day with unlimited downloads. I try to give all teachers a security level of 94. Priests, Rabbis, and community leaders also get security levels of 94. I also give other SysOps higher security levels, usually a security level of 99, that welcomes them as a fellow SysOp each time they call, and gives them about 60 minutes a day with unlimited downloads. I figure if they run a bulletin board, they too are providing a valuable public service and deserve some recognition. Assigning security levels isn't anything that I take lightly, and surely don't do so as callously as Mr. Hunt's article insinuates. After this discussion of security levels and file access, I hope everyone will realize the commitment that all SysOps have to the users of their systems. They want to offer a much needed public service, while at the same time protecting the service from those that might abuse it. While this sounds laudable, we should remember that SysOps are just people too, and sometimes don't know how to most equitably share their resources with the community that they serve. Most SysOps are very open to opinions, especially opinions that enlighten them as to how to better serve their users. As Mr. Hunt says, "files are a very important part of BBSing, but make sure you don't abuse the privilege the sysop gives you." Running a bulletin board is at times very rewarding for the people that operate it, but at the same time represents considerable investment of time and resources. Before you blast a SysOp for the way in which he runs his ship, you might crawl into his skin and walk around a bit... I'm disappointed that Mr. Hunt didn't ask me how things were done before he published inaccurate information about our board, but trust this article will be of assistance to the user that wants to know how security levels work... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I am sitting here, in front of my mighty Atari, wondering why I should continue fooling around with these boards. To contrast with the BTN series on "Why I Compute?", I entitle this article: Why Should I Compute? or, more accurately, Why Should I Telecompute? by Dean C. Well, why do I continue to use my computer? There are a couple of things I use it for. I use it, for instance, for writing articles such as this one. I also use the company VAX for that kind of thing, but that is for business purposes, so that really doesn't count (FYI, I use it for writing reports and real electronic mail). I also use my computer for planning my monthly budgets (no, really), for playing some games (usually limited to Othello and Yahtze right now), and for art stuff. And, as many of you know, I also use my computer for communications. One thing I would like to clear up right now, telecommunication is not just using a BBS. Telecommunication is any type of interaction between people/objects that use a telephone. Therefore, calling Domino's for a pizza is telecommunication, having some group call you at 6:20pm and ask you if you want a Visa or Mastercharge card for no yearly fee is telecommunication; as well as more esoteric uses as BBSs and carrier waves. This has always been a personal peeve of mine with the title of BTN, but I digress a bit. Anyway, the point that I am trying to make is that I don't get the same satisfaction from calling up a BBS as I used to. It isn't necessarily proximity, since I now live in the Northern Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C., and I have local access to somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 BBSs to call. I think that there are a couple of problems. One involves my ego, which is just a touch smaller than All Outdoors, least ways it is now. I don't think that there are more than five or ten BBSs in Birmingham that do not know me by name (besides, they're Commodore boards, and don't really count in the pantheon of BBS), and I am comfortable in that position. I was/am a high-profile user, and as a result, a lot of people recognized me by sight. But it isn't like this in D.C. I am for the most part an unknown quantity, and I frankly don't have the time to generate a persona right now. I think it is something like I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond. A result of being a high-profile user (and another reason for my disenchantment) was demonstrated a couple of weeks ego in EZNet, for those of you that were paying attention. Some new female user whom I cannot remember the name of right now took to taking potshots at me. I was a little confused, since I had never seen nor heard of her previously (not quite true, since I believe Maggie mentioned something about a "BBS Clan" [SQUEEAL! What a concept!]). A function of my BBS personality is that I don't lie still for potshots, and returned fire, with more than a little vehemence. My position being that she doesn't know who I am, she started with groundless attacks, ergo she must be chewed up and spat out. But I was confused as to why this was occuring. Brett Thorn explained it very nicely, I felt. His feeling was that there was residual echoes of my personality still echoing through the system, ie. different references towards me and/or my style of messages, and as a result this female took that as free license to take her shots since it was assumed that I was an evil presence, from my psychic reverb in the EZNet conference, and must be either 'taught a lesson', or 'put in my place', whichever seems more appropriate. My problem with this is that it is assumed that I am like my messages. To some extent I am, and to some extent I'm not, depending on the situation. If I had to choose, my articles in BTN, misnamed or not, are probably closer to my real personality than other media. But the attack came based solely on reputation, not a message I had left to her (directly), but strictly on what was said about me. It doesn't bother me what you (plural) say about me, since I know most of you, and as a result, I usually understand what you are saying and the more-or-less humor behind the statement. In an exchange with Brett, I described myself as kind of feeling like Gary Cooper in "High Noon", in that I have a job (leaving messages) that I used to like but I am not all that fond of it anymore, yet I am still expected to do the job by the locals, and I am hunted by the fringe. I believe it was either Maggie, Brett, or Jet who once said, "If Dean didn't exist, we would have to create him". It looks as if I have been cast in the role of being an user-effigy, where the evil thoughts of the user base could be used against me, thusly keeping the rest of the user base safe from the Evil Ones. It's a job, I guess. The third problem I have is lack of stimulation. I used to look at message bases as a means of learning something. At one time, I was entertained and impressed with some things that I saw, but now it just seems like a repetition of issues than have already been hashed over time and time again. As a result, there is little that is learned anymore. But I did learn things when I first started. When I was a green user, and just discovered BBSs, there were two very illuminating occurances that shaped the way I am. 1). I left a message on Channel 8250 asking about predestination, and Randy Hilliard left me a message that was very complex, very well thought out, and very intimidating. I resolved to never get into a debate where I would be that overclassed by the participants. 2). There was a conference on Bus called BIOS, which I mistakenly thought was a Biology conference. I went in there, read some messages, and discovered that it was an anti-gun control conference. I left some messages that explained my situation and showed problems with others' logic. I was cursed ("Who is this asshole? He knows nothing"--Cosysop 1), abused, screamed, and in general, vilified. As far as I remember, only one user (Randy Hilliard) was not being a jerk, but remained logical and reasonable. I learned the nastier, uglier, not-nicer part of my online persona on Bus System, and I place the responsibility for my online persona directly at the feet of Tim Straughn. I was forced to defend myself in such situation, and being a very new user, it was a very shocking experience. You have created me and defined my actions better and more precisely than if you had a blueprint. You created me, my means of communication, my nastier self, and now you must live with your creation. I digress again. But it does highlight a problem, in that many discussions can run well for about two-four weeks before it drops like a rock. Usually after the good arguments are used up, the discussion level drops to invective. At that stage, I am only looking to keep the pot stirred up and to learn new phraseology. Another problem is highlighted in Ricky Eanes and Colby Gibson. In other words, offline readers. How many of you have been forced to wade through 20-50 straight messages between Ricky and Colby? I know I have, more than a couple of times. I believe that the problem is that offline readers allow those without much time to add a lot of volume to a discussion with little, if any, limit. I like the idea of time limits. I don't download much, so I spend all of my time in the message bases. As a result of my proclivity to leave messages, I now type about 85 wpm so that I could get the messages read and replies made. It seems to me that if time was a limit, then only people that really want to leave messages would leave messages. Take a Colby, for instance. What do they want to do most? Probably download GIFs. Before the offline reader, he had a choice to make, either download a bunch of GIFs or read and reply to messages. Now, he does both, much to my chagrin. It also seems to me that if someone really wants to leave a message badly enough, than she/he will probably have something more interesting to say than, "Ricky, you're a jerk". I suppose eventually I may get involved with BBSs again, but it won't be for a while, and it probably won't be in Birmingham. I download ZIPM packets every so often, though, so I still read a fair amount of local traffic. But even that is cutting down. Damn, I wish that ProDoor had a twit filter. Then I could get rid of Fred Hambrecht, the way that he erased all signs of me from his board. I feel like a character in "1984", and I had become an unuser. Hell, it was Fred who has been saying evil things about me since I use "Foul" language on local echos. I, on the other hand, have never said "Dickhead" over and over again in the EZNet conference. But I guess I'm not the hypocrite that Fred thought. Or maybe "Foul" is in the eye of Fred? I don't know. Maybe Jet can explain it. Looks like a double standard to me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Windows Column: WinQwk 1.20 by Eric Hunt Offline reader programs are the "beer" of the BBS world. Everyone has their favorite, and everyone has their reason for having their favorite. While we don't go around arguing about "tastes great" or "less filling" we do argue over which reader is the best, and why. I think I have found my reader: WinQwk 1.20. My overriding love of the reader: It runs under Windows 3.0, and runs well. WinQwk, written by Doug Crocker, is the .QWK compatible mail reader Windows 3.0 junkies everywhere have been looking for. WinQwk is shareware, and is 100% functional. Registration fee is $30.00 As offline readers go, WinQwk is a standard reader, with no fancy bells and whistles, etc. WinQwk has all the features you would expect from a good DOS based reader, such as message sorting, tagline stealing, internal editor, variable quote strings, exporting and printing of messages, and others. The charm lies in the fact that it is a Windows 3.0 program. A nice feature that is compliments of the Windows interface is the extremely handy button bar located across the top of the screen. More on that later. Starting and configuring WinQwk is quite painless. The first time it is run, a config screen pops up asking for the location of your .QWK packets, where to put .REPs, what directory to use as the temp directory, and where your archiving utilites are. If PKZIP/PKUNZIP are in your path, then you don't need to specify their location here, WinQwk will find them. WinQwk then will drop this configuration into its own .INI file in your \windows subdir. Opening a packet is as easy as either clicking on the FILE CABINET icon in the tool bar, or pulling down the FILES menu and selecting open. From there, a list of files matching the wildcard "*.QW?" is presented. This is handy for getting at multiple .QWKs from the same BBS that are renumbered .QW0, .QW1, etc. Double click on a .QWK packet to read, and WinQwk calls pkunzip to do its thing. Note: Persons running in standard mode will see pkunzip/pkzip run in a fullscreen window. This might present problems if you are doing a file transfer in the background. If you have the ability, run WinQwk in Enhanced mode to alleviate this problem. When returned from unzipping, a box pops up asking you to select a conference to read first. Reading your mail is just as simple. You can move through the different messages either with the left and right arrow keys, or the msg forward/msg backward icons in the tool bar. WinQwk is very fast at popping up messages as you move through the packet. Upon reaching the end of a conference, you are automatically transported to the next one containing messages with the next right arrow keypress. You can change conferences manually with the multi-folder icon in the tool bar (as opposed to the single-folder icon, which contains a listing of all the messages in the conference. Bulk marking and reading can be done through this button) and you can restrict the view of conferences to either all conferences, or only conferences with mail in them. Dropping and adding conferences is also carried out through this icon, and is a snap. Just click on either the drop or add button, and the appropriate message is generated! I found that replying to messages in WinQwk was the easiest of all the mail readers I have tried. The entire reply process is carried out in one child window. The top 1/3 of the window is reserved for the addressing of the message. I.E. TO/FROM, conference, tagline, private/public, it's all there. You can select any conference to drop your reply in, or accept the default conference (which is generally where you want it) Replies to private messages stay private. Taglines can also be entered here. Since the entire process is one screen, you can quickly jump to the message entry area first and reply, and then make sure the addressing is right, or after, it doesn't matter to WinQwk. Very seamless, and best of all, no external editor to fiddle around with! Makes it extremely easy for newcomers to .QWK messaging. Other features that you might want to mess with after you have read a few packets and are feeling experimental are the message sorting, and the quote string prefix area. Messages can be sorted either by message number, message subject, message to, or message from. This makes selecting only certain threads from a message packet to read easy! Another area is the quote string prefix area. Here you can designate exactly what characters to use in the quote string, be it initials, or some other creation. You can also add a line of text at the top of each reply that goes something like this: "In ERIC HUNT's message to DOUG CROCKER about WINQWK:" This little header line is completely customizable, using variables to represent the TO/FROM, SUBJECT, and/or DATE. Very powerful, and very handy! Not many readers have this capability. WinQwk can also search for text contained within all of the messages. Finally, a handy little program called ANSIVIEW is included with the reader. It enables you to correctly display the login screen, the news file, the newfiles list, etc. in full ANSI. Animation is even supported, although it does tend to zip by rather quickly. WinQwk is not without its grey areas. I have found a few deficiences in the program that do need addressing in future releases. The most notable is the propensity for the program to zap reply packets. This occurs generally when you open another mail packet without first closing the one you are reading with the CLOSE menu option under FILE. This problem could be temporarily cured until more time can be spent researching it by giving the user the option of whether the program erases the temp directory where the replies are stored. WinQwk uses some weird method to delete it's temp directory, as Norton File Undelete wouldn't recover the deleted .MSG file. If the program exited without deleting the temp directory, the .MSG could be zipped manually, and replies wouldn't be lost. Another small area of concern lies in the tagline area. I simply cannot get them to work properly. It will not remember taglines. I have to type them in manually each time. Even when I steal a tagline from another message, that tagline is not saved. Finally, WinQwk still has problems (very minor) in handling BBSs with more than 255 conferences. I have noticed that any personal messages to me that are in conferences higher than 255 somehow get mapped into confs lower that 255. If I get a personal message in conf 343, it is placed in conf 81 in the personal section. However, the message is still there in conf 343 when I read completely through it, so it is not that big of a problem. WinQwk is the first fully functional .QWK reader to come along for Windows 3.0, and at $30, the price cannot be beat! If you have any questions about it, or any problem with Windows 3.0 itself, feel free to drop me a note on any of the local BBSs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Adventures of R.G. Strangemind and Herbert by Jeremy Lewis Copyright 1991 by Jeremy Lewis no reprints without the permission of the author Chapter IV Slob was still screaming when the over large robot, S.T.U.P.I.D. (Super Tough Union Personnel Incinerator Drone) 13 repeated his statement. "YOU HAVE LITTERED!". Slob came to his senses. "Listen, Stupid...er Mister 13", then said, " I wasn't littering, Honest...er I was picking it up." Slob grabbed the paper and stuck it in his own mouth. "See, I was disposing of it...besides you didn't see me did you?" "See you what?", grinned the Extremely bulky drone. "Litter, of...Oops",said slob sheepishly, "I'm not in trouble am I?" In response the gleaming robot began to raise one gigantically massive fist, while Slob screamed. As R.G.'s mind was wandering around the ship and thinking about the wonders of astral projection, his body was skipping down corridor seven, the corridor leading to the ship's power core, quite unaware of any danger. Of course, if R.G.'s mind had known, it may have been a little more anxious to regain contact, but as it was, R.G.'s mind was content to take a leisurely stroll around the ship. Slob was still screaming when he began to hear the sound. It was a quite peculiar sound, like some one screaming, but Slob was to preoccupied with the floor as it continued to rise towards the great fist above him to notice Herbert, who ran screaming in to the room. Herbert saw before him a robot of unrivaled proportions and strength, but not realizing that to dodge an object one must move in such a way as to avoid that object, he ran headlong in to S.T.U.P.I.D. 13, and was taken quite by surprise when hurled against the wall by the resounding explosion. He could see and there was nothing except a loud ringing his eyes then Slob opened his eyes. He was alive! the robot was gone, there was a human embedded in the wall! Life was wonderful! Life was grand Life was...A human embedded in the wall? Slob towards Herbert. The purple thing with a lot of teeth (that had recently begun to exist), was confused. After all reality is quite a shock...especially for one who's just been introduced to it. He could see why people were scared of him, his hair was mess! Just look at those nails! How could anyone ever be attracted to shambling mound of hair teeth and dirty fingernails? He knew exactly what he must do. He must find the nearest Beauty Salon and have complete make over. Meanwhile on the planet Slag... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Review: Procomm Plus 2.0 by Mark Maisel Publisher: Datastorm Technologies System Requirements: MS-DOS 2.0 or higher, minimum 192K-bytes RAM, can consume up to 1M-byte of drive space when fully installed Price: $119.00 This is the long overdue upgrade to the very popular Procomm Plus 1.1 communications software. It addresses many of the shortcomings that plagued the older release. True terminal emulations limited by video restrictions, limited transfer protocols, and many other features have been remedied in addition to new features being added. Lets begin at the beginning. The installation process is automated and very easy to follow. It will even upgrade your old PCPLUS setup and dialing directories if you like. There is no need to refer to the documentation accomanying the package if you are an old time PCPLUS user. All the commands work the same as before with few exceptions. Of course, this doesn't mean that you should skip the documentation either. The documentation is very well done. This time around it was broken up into two books, each about the size of the single book accompanying PCPLUS 1.0. One book dealt with installation and operation of the software. The other dealt strictly with the script language. It was filled with descriptions, examples, and suggestions for writing good scripts for a variety of functions. The script language, "Aspect"(tm), has been enhanced. Several new commands have been added as well as older commands being given more ability. The scripts are now compiled before they are run. This lends much greater speed to scripts. A sample script, designed, no doubt, to demonstrate the power of "Aspect"(tm), does nothing more than play a terrific game of black jack, complete with ANSI graphics. The editor that accompanies PCPLUS has been rewritten also but I am a QEdit fanatic so I didn't do much more than run the editor to see how it looked. It does appear to have many more features than the old one so you may want to examine it. The terminal screen is identical to the old PCPLUS but it sure is flexible in ways the old one isn't. I've thrown every video mode I could find at it and it worked flawlessly in each. Everything from 12 line/80 column mode, to 44 line/132 column mode worked. The status line can be moved and turned on or off at will. The cursor shape can be controlled. It has built in keystrokes for toggling between 25 line and 50 line VGA, if it finds your VGA. Mouse support also exists though I've personally found it more of an annoyance than a useful feature. The transfer protocols have been greatly enriched and they take a bit of getting used to for old PCPLUS users. A letter instead of a number is used to select a procotol now and I've caught myself once or twice trying to press the number I remember instead of looking for the appropriate letter. The protocols now supported internally in PCPLUS are XModem (CRC and Checksum), Kermit, ASCII, RASCII, 1K-XModem, YModem, Modem7, Telink, ZModem, WXModem, Sealink, CompuServe B, 1K-XModem-G, YModem-G, and IModem. If these aren't enough for you, PCPLUS still allows 3 external procotol drivers to be called up for use in file transfers. ZModem as implemented here will also optionally automatically download once you've requested files sent via ZModem from it. This is a handy feature that has been long overdue. The protocols all seem solid as I've tried them all save CompuServe B and Kermit. One are of great importance to me is the dialing directory. This has been completely overhauled by Datastorm this time out. It looks the same at first glance but there is quite a bit more to it. First of all, you can sort the directory internally and on a number of key fields. This process is very quick and painless. There is plenty of room for the name of the system to be called in the directory. The layout is pretty much the same for editing entries but there are some additions and enhancements here too. Baud rate now allows up to 115,200. There is a new option called Mode. It allows you to choose between a direct connection and a modem for your entry. Your password also may be placed in the entry now. The macro keys have been replaced with Meta Keys which are much more flexible. A unique set may be attached to each entry as well. Keyboard mappings for the different terminal emulations can be called from the entry. A Note File may be attached to each entry. This is a simple text file of any length that you attach to the entry describing the system, or whatever else you may care to say relevant or otherwise about the entry. How does one see all that information?, I imagine you are asking about now. T for toggle display will take you through the information effortlessly. These bells and whistles are things I like in a terminal program. I've used the Host Mode only once and it seems to work pretty much as the old one. It does take advantage of the new protocols and other niceties in setup that this release offers. I think you can be quite confident in setting this up on a whim to allow a friend to transfer a file from your system. Lastly, and this is primarily for your folks who have need for such things, the terminal emulations are many and thorough. I will list them for your information. For you bbs users, ANSI will do for most bbs' you will call these days. TTY, DEC VT52, VT100/102, VT220/320, Wyse 75, Televideo 922, Data General 100, Data General 200/210, ANSI X3.64, IBM PC, Televideo 900 Series, IBM 3101, IBM 3161, Lear Siegler ADM 3A/5, Lear Siegler ADM 31, Esprit 3, Heath/Zenith 19, ADDS 60/90, Wyse 50, Wyse 100, IBM 3270/950, ATT 605, and ATT 4410 are all supported by PCPLUS. I've tried to cover all of the aspects of a communications package that I would examine when choosing one for my use or that of a client. This overhaul of PCPLUS was a long time in coming and answers many of the needs of long time users such as myself. Should you use this package? If you are looking for a package, you ought to consider this one. Unfortunately, it would seem that a "test drive" version is no longer offered, providing you with a method of trying before you buy. It is comparable to other products available through both commercial and shareware channels. I suggest that you try the shareware packages and see if they meet your needs. The strength of PCPLUS over the shareware packages is the incredible number of terminal emulations. If they are what you need, then perhaps PCPLUS is for you. If you are already using another package and are happy, should you switch? PCPLUS offers the same features as the top shareware and commercial packages, so your choice can only be based on personal preference. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Notes from the Trenches by Dean Costello This Month: "What is this?" Week number...hell, I don't know anymore. Something like week 9 or 10. Preparing to come to Birmingham next week to deal with my lawsuit. I am starting to get kind of nervous about the entire affair. But I am bothered by more than that, right now. And being that we each get our catharsis one way or another, and my personal one is to use this forum... Christ, when it rains, it pours. I consider myself to be a logistical master, of sorts. Or at least I am a stickler for the details involved in this sideline of mine. F'r instance, when I moved from Birmingham to Maryland, the procedure itself went fairly smoothly, with the help of Chris, Scott, Mark, Sarah, and Kathy. And this was as I got my wisdom teeth pulled, and a couple of other mitigating circumstances. The only thing that I didn't plan for was that I overestimated how much junk I had in the apartment, and accordingly, needed some rope from Mark to lash the stuff to the front-end of the truck. But I am getting away from what it was that was causing this shitrain to occur. I haven't been getting many offers, but all of the sudden, two interviews in one day. Now, I have to drive to DC to take a second interview with a company that I am really not all that impressed with, and the second company is planning to call me tomorrow for a phone interview. And there is not much doubt that I am going to be in DC when the second company calls. But I cannot afford to not go to the interview, but I don't want to miss the phone call. Christ, this isn't fun. Come to find out I was offered a job with the second company, but they wanted a response by Monday. The first company, the one I really want to work with, won't be able to tell me until Thursday. So, I either take the job I don't really want to do, or wait for the other one, hoping I get hired at it. Ahh, I love this shit. I despise it when circumstances start to get out of control. My brother put it most succinctly when he said, "Dean, you fret about things beyond your control, when the thing resolves itself, you then fret about things that haven't started yet, and you really aren't happy until you are fretting about something or another." And this is true. On the other hand, I have broken down so many times in so many god-forsaken regions, that I automatically begin to fret. I have broken down in seven states, and with the interstate driving that I have to do, I am always concerned when the drive goes beyond 35 miles. And in about 96 hours, I have to go a grand total of 1100 miles in a gimpy Fiero. I am not all that hopeful about the outcome. And then when I get down to Birmingham, I have to go to trial. Yippee. I am really looking forward to next week. Which explains my unease as I sit here at my terminal. Well, it has gone about 600 miles in the last 2 weeks without much trouble, so maybe it will make the trip. Maybe... I report from after the trial. By God, I litigated like a king. In other words, it seemed to have gone better than I expected. The case was scheduled for 10:15 at the Jefferson Co. Circuit Court. Got to lawyer's place at 9:10. Ushered into meeting room at 9:25. Pregnant secretary offered me Coke (trademark, Coca Cola Bottling Co., Atlanta, GA) at 9:35. Saw lawyer at 9:55. Yakked about case on the way, and other things of minor importance. Hit courtroom at 10:05. My and the Dark One's lawyer spoke with judge who said, "Is this case settled yet?" "No, Your Honor," replied the lawyers. "Well, get your asses back there and settle it NOW," the judge ordered, gesturing to a smallish negotiating room in the back. The last-minute negotiations (like, 4 minutes before it was scheduled to go on trial) netted a nice settlement. I was being sued for about $4500, but it was settled for $1347. I can live with a 60% reduction on something this size... By the time I got to the trial, I was more into it for the entertainment value, as opposed to the actual fear of losing the case. Going in, the lawyer said to me that there was no way in hell that I could win the case, and to settle for something good. Come to find out, the $4500 that was being asked for was more for my insurance company's benefit than for me (had no insurance at the time), so the settlement was much more equitable. Anyway, we go back to the room, and discovered that the Dark One actually paid $1557 for the repairs to the car, plus car rental fees, plus LD costs, plus other little do-hickies, so the exchange went, "Well, we offered $1000, your real cost is $1557, since the judge is going to throw out the rental fees, so let's split the difference." Lawyer and I step out to confab, Dark One and lawyer hang around to confab. I say it sounds reasonable, so we just sit there and yak about things going on in Birmingham for a while. Wander in, and discover that they accept that settlement. And there you go. Save about $3000 for driving to Birmingham. I am still running on a post-trial high, so it still feels good. The jobs are still in limbo, and I still have to pay $1347 ($1250, plus $97 for court costs), but I am happy, relative to what I would have had to pay if I just ignored the whole mess. Now, if only I had a job... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A Day In The Life Of... by Colby Gibson The following text is an abridged description of what usually goes on during the day at school. I'll try my best not to exaggerate anything that goes on, but I might, so if I do, bear with me. Depending on how late I scream out of the garage in that itty bitty 4-cylinder Mazda, I usually arrive at my place of inhumane torture about 7:45 give or take five minutes or so. I'm asked if I have everything, and after telling my guardian that I have everything about 3 or 4 times, I get out of the car and grab all of my junk. After realizing that I forgot my lunch at home, I ask for a bit of money. I get it, and walk into the Elementary school side of my school building. JCA is a strangely constructed building, designed for classes and church at the same time. Two huge hallways divide the school, with a chapel and lunchroom in the middle. These halls are merely referred to at my school as "The Elementary Side" by the teachers and "Over There" by the students. The "High School side" is how the teachers describe the torture chamber for grades 7-12 and we refer to it as "Over here." I'm walking down the Elementary hall, and after dropping my gym shorts and picking them up, I enter the chapel. I walk forward and across the stage and enter the lunchroom via a side door. Into a room of "Peons" so to speak, those little kids that inhabit the hall "Over There". I turn left and after passing the girl that stays glued to the pay phone like a magnet to my hard disk, I enter the High School hall via the left door and step into the midst of the normal people. After walking through the door, my locker is a mere six feet away, and after throwing whatever I have in my arms into the blue hole, I slam it shut and go finish last night's homework in the lunchroom. Shane comes in the door, usually telling me that he forgot to do the assignment as well and it doesn't matter. After telling him that I feel like crap and want to go home, I get a little carton of milk from the vending machine (I swear that this thing stays emptier than classes after school is over.) and drink it down. It is now 7:55, and the "Get your butt to class" bell rings. I grab whatever books I need out of the blue hole and trudge into my first class, English, at the end of the High school hall next door to Mrs. HRPR. I pass Nathan who is usually being hugged on by his girlfriend, and I walk to the back of the room and slam down my books. Already in the room are Mrs. Gray, the teacher, and Josh Gregg, another sophomore. I walk out, and after seeing how many people are left in the hall, I sit down in my desk and groan. Shane and Nathan walk in, sit down, followed by the five females of the class. Right on cue, Joey, the class tardy man, clambers into class about 10 minutes late. After grumbling an excuse, he sits down and joins the torture of Literature. It's now 8:30, and I'm deep into the world of Julius Caesar. The record is spinning on the turntable and Mark Antony has just said "I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him" five times until Mrs. Gray slams the player and it works right. My mid class 5-card draw hand going well, I lay down three kings and Nathan lays down four Aces. I slam my hand down, and snatch the cards from his hand. Putting them back in my pocket, I wait until the bell rings at 8:52. Walking up the hall, I stop at the blue hole and exchange my Literature book for that big red thing with X^2+5 written all over it. Walking into Algebra II class, I draw out Mr. Casio, a.k.a. The Sci-calc man. Sitting down, I engage in about an hour of factoring quadratic equations. After giving Mr. Casio a pounding and getting help from Mrs. Grubb once while Nathan complains that his Cosine button doesn't work, I listen to Holly blurt, "I hate these.". I chuckle, and wait for the 9:45 bell to ring. It rings, and I make a deposit at the blue hole, and enter the chapel room. This big place is used for our chapel and for church. I sit down with my class in the dumb pew, and listen to the Teacher preach about being morally straight and all this other junk. After going through the lists of chapel detention, debts of people that haven't paid for lunches that class served and other such. After our break time has been shortened from 15 min to about .345 seconds, we get up to fill our bodies full of coke and baked sugar. After making a stop at the blue hole, I grab the World history book and go up the hall to the class or Mrs. Gregory. I take in my books, and set them down in the back of the class. I wait for about 5 minutes wasting my breaktime until the class bell rings and everyone else piles in. I sit for an hour and listen to the NON-FICTIONAL life of Julius Caesar and after taking 14 pages of worthless notes, the bell rings and it's time for the most wonderful class of all. Bible! I grab my Bible out of the blue hole, and chunk in the World History book and clam it shut. At the beginning of the year, the front of my Bible had the cover on it. The cover came off due to locker wear, and it slowly disentegrated through the first few books. I'm now down to Leviticus chapter 25. I rush in, anxious to get my seat. After throwing my bible and winning a seat, I claim it and it down. Coach Crocker walks in, and gives us a heartwarming greeting. We sit and listen to another hour of the fourth chapter of Luke, and after going through about 5 pages of typing paper of notes, the bell rings and it's time for the most heartwarming (Not!) class of the day, Biology! I grab the green biology book, and enter the slightly cold room. This class is hosted by HRPR, otherwise known as Mrs. Harper. We sit down and listen to about five minutes of the reproductive system until we hit a really good part and Nathan and Joey slap each other. HRPR gets mad and lectures us on how immature we are and how we'll never amount to anything unless we grow up. We all nod an listen to another ten minutes until we get to the part about Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. I ask HRPR about Pizitz Middle School, the famed home of our own Ricky Eanes, and how would one abbreviate that. She screams at me for sarcasm and gives me detention. Oh Joy! I sit through the part about the penis and trying not to laugh over the faces made my Nathan, the bell rings and Shane and I take off. My school doesn't feature cooked food, only that slop served out of vending machines. I run for the microwave, wary that the ninth grade girls might get there first and execute the famed "Will you put mine in the microwave with yours?". After cooking my food, I sit down at the end of the lunchroom next to the "Other Hall." Seated next to me is Josh Gregg, the before mentioned sophomore. Eric Hathaway and Gabe Scoggins, both freshmen. (I find it necessary to mention a fact, that although nothing to be joked about and a very serious matter, does tend to get thrown about a bit. Josh Gregg is a sufferer of Down's Syndrome, and we try to make him feel as much a part of us as possible. But playing mind games with him is a great way to have fun.) The first thing said when I sit down is Josh points out that he doesn't appreciate me putting the plunger inside of his book sack ( This is no regular book sack either. Josh's life belongings are in this Texas bag. He doesn't use his locker, and that bag weighs over 30 pounds.). He also points out the fact that he has told his parents that I did it and they aren't too happy about it. I point out to him that I don't appreciate him saying lies about me, and that he had better fix it. The better part of lunch is spent this way, him eating away at those artificial soybean hamburgers that are as big as 45 records. I still have not figured out how this guy eats these things. Mustard, Ketchup, Mayonnaise, relish, honey mustard, and about any other condiment in existance. We did ask him what a condiment was and he thought it was "Protective Gear". The bell rings. I guzzle the rest of the Pepsi I have down, and grab the shirt and shorts I have stowed in the blue hole and start on the walk to the gym. It's separate than the school, so I have to make a long trip to get there. I arrive, and Josh tells me that the power is out, and I flip the lights on. He says "guess not" and walks into the dressing room. I STILL don't understand how this boy changes clothes. He sits on the floor and takes his pants off (Yes, on the floor!) and does just about everything else on the floor. He then proceeds out the door leaving Joey and Nathan coming into the dressing room to change. I'm about through, and Nathan decides to run around the gym in his boxers. He run out the door screaming and everyone starts yelling like crazy. He comes back into the room and we all hide Josh's bag up on top of the lockers where he can't reach it (It took the three of us to lift it like that.). We then spend about 45 minutes playing basketball and flipping half court shots down to an unexpecting Josh (His shots are usually bricks, so we play "Scud-Patriot" with him.). We dress, and after Coach Crocker dismisses us, I report to Principal Roberts. Believe it or not, I'm not in trouble, at least not this time. I work for him last period, as an office aide. He tells me to change some shoplites in the school rooms, and after that I go past Study Hall and Nathan is in there, doing everything but what he's supposed to do. I flip him off and run to the library, right outside the door of Mrz. HRPR. You can tell because of the Icicles growing on her door. I proceed inside and dodge the glance of Mrs. Fancher, the Librarian. She doesn't like me going into the Library in the first place. I sit in one of the chairs, pick up the newest issue of Scientific American, and read until the end of school. I evade her again, make my way out and I then sit in after school study hall for about 2 hours playing Rummy and stuff with my cards. I then leave, come home, and call a board to read messages left by you, the people reading this file right now. (All names mentioned in this file are true, but it won't really matter because they probably won't care that I wrote about them in a BTN issue.) Note: The HRPR thingy and the deal about the Icicles is an inside joke, so don't even try. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Video Electronics: Part 3 by John Lane This is the third and final in the series of video entertainment systems for your home. This segment will deal with the "Home Theatre Systems". Once again I will answer all your questions of how to and which ones for specific needs but I cannot answer any tweak's techy questions so..... I have covered VCR's and TV's in past BTN issues (refer to BTN035 and BTN036) but I have left the big screen scene to this issue. Rear projection screens have never been better. They can provide an almost 180 degree viewing, and unlike the olden days, you can actually sit down from any angle and view the set without having to move your seat. They are much brighter, provide more scan lines of horizontal resolution (giving you a clearer picture), come in stereo sound with amplifier hook-up ability and tremendous sizes that enhances your viewing pleasure. Sizes range now from about 37" to 70" screens. The name brand performance of Mitsubishi is leading the pack for several reasons. They pour an incredible amount of money into their research and development to provide you with the BEST and BRIGHTEST rear view picture on the market. (which is part of the reason they can command a third more for their sets because of their incredible quality) Most of all their technology is reproduced to a certain degree by their competitors after they have placed the market. Because their screens burn so bright they have an exclusive patent on a mineral coating that is placed onto their all glass Nikon lens components to prevent a "yellowing" of their screens. A truly remarkable achievement because most screens will turn yellow after a few years but the Mitsubishi will stay clear and bright for many years to come. A complete "jack pack" is in the rear to facilitate the hookup of amplifiers, HI-FI VCR's and Laser Discs. With the internal video hook-ups a direct picture broadcast from the source, ie. VCR, laser disc, would appear with the touch of a button instead of the traditional channel three broadcast. This is important because when you use channel three (or four) the signal is transmitted from the source, through the televisions tuner, and then to the screen. Some resolution is therefore lost. When th a direct video input (or monitor hookup) the signal is sent directly to your screen giving you a better image, depending on your source. The better the source and resolution the better the picture! The stereo receiver or amplifier that is hooked up to the big screen (as well as two or more speakers) needs to also be hooked into the HI-FI VCR to complete the home theatre environment. Since all of your major blockbuster movies are dubbed onto hi-fi sound, it makes sense for people that entertain at home to invest in such a system. Once this is all hooked up you should be able to take the remote control of your big screen (or large tube) and control the volume of your stereo system! It doesn't stop there. Very few people know that you can actually dub CD sound onto hi-fi VCR tapes to reproduce CD sound without having to have all of your CD's strewn about. Just pop in your favorite tape and listen to that on your hi-fi VCR that's hooked up to your stereo system, pop on a channel or laser disc and party hardy! The total cost of such an investment is not astounding you should get away with a total package for less than three thousand dollars. That does sound like quite a bit but lets go over what that includes. It includes a Mitsubishi 40" screen for about $2,100, a Mitsubishi Hi-Fi VCR for about $500, a decent amp for about $175 a couple of speakers for about $75-100 each and lots of hook-up wires and speaker lines. A major investment but for those of you who stay home because you are now married, have ) or are just generally a homebody a home theatre system pays for itself when you consider the cost of gas, money and time to go see a movie with your date and or your family. So that's it. I hope you enjoyed the series. I feel that with the proper intuitive buying decision one makes, (you should always plan to buy for the future) a home theatre system is not out of most peoples reach with in just a few years of careful planning and saving! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Are You A Twit? by Unknown contributed by Eddie Dodwell * Twits love DOWNLOADING. Uploading is for simpletons who can't tell whether they are coming or going. If Twits designed modems, we'd all have one which downloaded at 18.2 K-Baud, and uploaded at 300 baud. If Twits wrote protocols, the smallest block they could receive would be 10 megs. * Twits can't READ or COUNT. This is evidenced by their total inability to comprehend System Rules, or Upload/Download Ratio's. But, for some strange reason, they can still use a computer. * Because of this handicap, most Twits are unemployed. It is a miracle that most of them haven't been retained by the State to pick up trash on the expressways. They'd gladly volunteer for it, if it could be done with a modem and they were called "Remote-Trash Downloaders". * Twits feel that the proper way to leave a board is to drop the carrier. They do this because they don't want to waste their valuable time exiting via the "Goodbye" command, when they could spend that time calling another board. * Twits NEVER leave messages, unless it is rude, crude, or socially unacceptable. If an exception to this exists, it will probably be a creative one-liner such as "Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Twits rarely reply to messages. Unless they enter a one-liner such as the one above. * Twits NEVER communicate with SysOps, unless it is to ask WHY such and such a file is unavailable, to demand access to the "Pirate-Board", or to gripe about something. Mail from the SysOp is considered to be the electronic equivalent of "Junk-Mail", and should be ignored. In fact, there should be some form of law to stop it from being written. * Twits NEVER pay for access to a computer system. They see themselves as latter-day "Robin-Hoods", taking from the rich (SysOps) and giving to the Poor (Themselves). Their motto is: "If it isn't free, it isn't worth having." * Twits NEED multiple logon codes. This is the measure of their Twit-dom, and reflects their true status in the Twit-community. A Twit with only ONE logon code is a FAILURE, and faces censure and possible expulsion from their peer group. (It is no wonder that Twits exhibit schizo-tendencies) * Twits know EVERYTHING. Just ask them. But, it'd take a crow-bar and dynamite to get any useful information out of them. These self-professed "experts" will RARELY stoop so low as to assist someone who may genuinely need some help. After all, a REAL "hacker" never needs or asks for help. * A Twit would not be caught dead using their REAL NAME when calling a BBS. In fact, Twits refuse to leave anything more involved than a handle when registering with a BBS. (EVERYONE knows who "Slinky Toy" is!!!) The ONLY exception to this rule is that they will often use SOMEONE ELSE's real name. Or, they may use the name of a Heavy-Metal rock & roll group. (Imagine a system where everyone is named "Guns&Roses") * Twits NEVER register their Shareware. Cash is what they use to buy faster modems. Program authors are neurotic-compulsives, and if they did not serve a purpose, Twits would have them abolished completely. * Twits ADORE Sprint, MCI, and other long-distance credit card numbers, IF they belong to someone else. This also applies to COMPUSERVE, SOURCE, etc. Their motto is: "If you can't steal it, it can't be much fun". * A Twit is a "BBS Connoisseur". They KNOW how your system SHOULD look and run. They will not hesitate to inform you if it fails to meet their demanding and rigid expectations. (They consider this a "Public Service") However, they would NEVER trouble themselves to run their OWN BBS. That might take valuable time away from their duties as "Remotes" on the 30 or more systems they spend all their waking moments calling. * Twits LOVE to page the SysOp, often just for the sheer hell of it. They are most fond of "Late-Night" paging. This is the perfect time for them to explain the infallable logic as to why they should be given Remote-SysOp access to your system. Their second most favored reason for wanting to chat is "Just checking to see if you were THERE!" * Twits cannot comprehend WHY the IBM program they just downloaded won't run on their Atari 800. After all, programs are programs, right? And, any fool knows that a 32K machine can hold a 200K program. * Twits can't TOLERATE seeing a command that they can't use. Their motto is "try, try again". If it didn't work the first time, it HAS to work on the second, third, fourth, etc. No self-respecting SysOp would intentionally offer them anything less than TOTAL ACCESS. * Twits are FASCINATED by DOS. Their quest for it rivals the search for the legendary "Holy-Grail". They MUST reach it, through their modem, or all is lost. What they would do with it if they reached it, is probably a lot like what a dog who chases cars would do with one if he managed to catch it. (Pee on the tires?) * Twits are totally ENGROSSED by hardware. They can conceive of the most unorthodox, outrageous, and potentially lethal contraptions known on Earth. Occasionally, these "time-bombs" actually work. Any difficulties they experience with their computers will fall under the heading of "Miscegenation", or "Poetic Justice". * Twits CRAVE the LATEST version of "Goober-Pods", or "Space-Weenies". To reward the SysOp for access to such mega-byte gems, they will upload VALUABLE and USEFUL programs in return. Such as "Weasel-Stompers" for the Commodore-64, providing it is less than 10K in size. * A Twit NEVER uses applications programs, and NEVER writes programs. (Programs are what Twits DOWNLOAD, and most can just BARELY write or spell) Their motto: "If you don't need a joystick to play it, it isn't worth having". * A real Twit will FLATLY REFUSE to use ANY compression method on files they intend to upload. After all, SysOps sit and twiddle their thumbs waiting on something to do, and should be GRATEFUL that they get ANY uploads, EVER! They also refuse to upload documentation. (It is crutch for weak minds and the hallmark of the Geek.) * Twits SUFFER if there are no "NEW" files on the system. There may be a correlation between "NEW" files and Twits, much as there is one which exists between dog-excrement and flies. The only difference is that flies usually leave after eating their fill. Twits don't. * Twits desperately NEED to become Remote-Sysops. They KNOW that EVERYONE else on the system has SysOp capabilities, and don't want to be excluded from all the fun! (Are all Twits created equal?) * Twits think that the "Caps Lock" key must be activated in order to properly leave a message on a board. They think that their message is of such great importance that it must be screamed at everyone. * Occasionally an above average Twit who discovers that modeming can be a two way street will attempt to get around upload\download ratios by renaming the same program fifteen or twenty times and using it to fill the sysop's hard disk with redundant programs. After all, rules were meant to be broken, right? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Special Interest Groups (SIGs) BEPCUG CCS Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128) 3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga) Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM Maurice Lovelady 684-6843 BCCC BIPUG Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541 UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week 2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday) Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883 BACE FAOUG Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users Enthusiast Group Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library 2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200 CADUB CAD Users of Birmingham Homewood Library 3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM Bobby Benson 791-0426 If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed, please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on The Matrix BBS. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE SUPPORTED TYPE * Alter-Ego BBS 925-0707 300-2400 MNP4 ProLogon/ProDoor * American BBS 674-1851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5 Amiga Alliance ][ 631-0262 300-2400 Ami Express ^ Arkham Asylum 853-7422 300-2400 WWIV 4.12 *% Bloom County 856-0587 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 -* Bus System 595-1627 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2 *% Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-9600 USR HST WWIV 4.12 Camelot BBS 856-0679 300-2400 Telegard 2.5 -*# Channel 8250 Node 1 744-8546 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 -*# Channel 8250 Node 2 744-5166 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5 * Crunchy Frog 956-1755 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 DataLynx 322-3425 300-2400 Oracomm5.L.30 FM Station 680-9772 1200-2400 WWIV 4.12 Graphics Zone Node 1 870-5306 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16) Graphics Zone Node 2 870-5329 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16) Hacker's Corner 674-5449 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 Hardeman's BBS 640-6436 300-2400 ????? + I.S.A. BBS 995-6590 300-9600 USR HST TCOMM -* Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-2400 PC Board 14.5 @ K-9 Corner 424-8202 300-2400 Image 1.2 *& Little Kingdom Node 1 969-0007 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 *& Little Kingdom Node 2 969-0008 300-2400 MNP4 PCBoard 14.5 * Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.2 @ Missing Link 853-1257 300-2400 Image1.2 ^ Myth Drannor 699-5811 1200-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11 Outside It's America 951-2473 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11 Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5 Paradise City 853-1439 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 PC Echange Link 663-2759 300-9600 USR DS QuickBBS 2.04 += Programmer's Shack 871-3356 300-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i * Radio Free Troad 979-6183 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 Safe Harbor 665-4355 300-9600 USR DS GTPower 15.00 Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-9600 Hayes PCBoard 14.5 * ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2 The Commodore Zone 856-3783 300-2400 Image1.2 The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 The Connection Node 3 854-0698 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 The Dancin' Deers BBS 980-0048 300-2400 WWIV 4.11 The Dog House 425-9255 300-1200 Image1.2 ^ The Dragon's Hoard 833-3790 300-2400 WWIV 4.12 ^ The Edge of Oblivion 520-0230 300-2400 WWIV 4.11 -*!$(The Matrix Nodes 1-4 323-2016 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5 -*!$(The Matrix Node 5 251-2344 2400-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5 -*!$(The Matrix Node 6 323-0799 2400-9600 UDS V.32 PCBoard 14.5 += The Outer Limits 985-1725 1200-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i The Quiet Zone 833-2066 300-2400 ExpressNET += The Round Table 938-2145 300-2400 WWIV 4.11 The Word 833-2831 300-2400 WWIV 4.12 VCM(ee) BBS Node 1 655-4059 300-2400 USR DS Oracomm Plus VCM(ee) BBS Node 2 655-4065 300-1200 Oracomm Plus Victory Express 425-0821 300-1200 Image 1.2 Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300-2400 Oracomm Plus Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300-2400 Oracomm Plus Willie's DYM Node 3 979-7743 300-1200 Oracomm Plus Willie's DYM Node 4 979-8156 300-1200 Oracomm Plus Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300-1200 Unaxess The many symbols you see prior to the names of many of the bbs' in the list signify that they are members of one or more networks that exchange or echo mail to each other in some organized fashion. * = EzNet, a local IBM compatible network @ = Image network, a national Commodore network = = Telegard network, a local IBM compatible network + = FidoNet, an international IBM compatible network - = Metrolink, an international IBM compatible network ^ = WWIV-Net, an international IBM compatible network & = Intellec, an international IBM compatible network # = Uni'Net, an international IBM compatible network % = ThrobNet, an international IBM compatible network ! = RastaNet, an international IBM compatible network $ = ILink, an international IBM compatible network ( = TheoNet, a national IBM compatible network If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us know via EzNet.