From: sienna@yabbs
To: Maliach@yabbs
Subject: re: Work in progress....:)
Date: Tue Jul 26 18:54:24 1994
Just a thought....your work is very good, but sometimes a little 
"talky"..not that that is bad, per se, but have you given any thought to 
imagery? I sent some lyrics of mine to a singer/songwriter with whom I had 
been corresponding with. He gave me some of the best criticism I have ever 
gotten on writing lyrics/poetry. He told me to "paint a picture" in the 
reader's mind. Don't just tell them something, but make them SEE it...

Like I said, it is just a thought. Your poetry is very good all in all!

*hugs*

Dee