From: sienna@yabbs
To: alarm@yabbs
Subject: re: When good things happen....
Date: Tue Aug  2 03:59:21 1994
I was brought up to believe that God is all powerful, and a God of Love 
and Mercy. I have often wondered why He lets so many bad things happen to 
so many people....anyone who knows me knows my life has been filled with 
so many bad things....and I have cried out to Him in the middle of night 
when I have awoken for the 100th time drenched in sweat, running from a 
nightmare I can never escape...I have cried out "Why?" over and over again 
while tears streamed down my face as one more person I loved and trusted 
walked out of my life...and I say to Him "God, I am a good person! I have 
a good heart! I try to be helpful to those around me. I try to love and 
not judge. I believe you love me, but I need You to explain why You keep 
letting things happen to me....Please, please, God, please...."

And as I have lain there, alone in my bed, feeling the fear of being 
alone, the sting of rejection and abandonment, the darkness of depression 
and the oppressiveness of nightmares, I was given one, clear thought....

First of all, God is all powerful, all knowing, and He is with us all of 
the time. BUT, when God created us, He gave us a free will. God is a God 
of Love not a God of prisoners. He didn't make us to mindless lemmings who 
blindly mind the laws of god. God gave us a choice in what we do, and we 
fell. We are imperfect, made perfect through his Holy love. And when we 
follow Him as a result of a choice we made with our own free will, then 
that becomes a symbol of OUR love for HIM.

That is what I cling to when the world seems to be crashing down on me. 
And believe me, it seems to be crashing down on me even as I type this. I 
hope that this helps someone out there...I hope I have made some kind of 
sense.

*Keepin' the Faith*

Dee