[From "Work Is Hell" by Matt Groening]

  The Road To Manhood
  -------------------

  First safety-pin jab during diaper change
  First weaning
  First step
  First fall
  First peek up the teacher's dress while lying on the floor during
  naptime at nursery school
  First lecture that "the penis is not a toy".
  First lie told to escape punishment
  First dirty joke heard
  First dirty joke understood
  First profanity overheard by parent
  First victimization by bigger, older kid
  First victimization of smaller, younger kid
  First 10,000 hours of watching TV
  First realitization that girls might not be the enemy
  First realitization that everything you've been taught is a lie
  First compulsive masturbation
  First time drunk
  First car accident
  First furtive sexual experience
  First sexually transmitted disease
  First marriage
  First divorce
  First tax audit
  First realitization that you might not write the Great American Novel
  before you're thirty
  First realitization that you must be a man, 'cause you're not a kid
  anymore