From: TruthMonger To: president@whitehouse.gov Cc: cypherpunks@toad.com Subject: I'm going to count to ten... BadBillyC, I thought you'd finally come to your senses. The headline read, "Clinton Urges Feinstein To Run." Delighted, I scanned the page for the picture of you pumping a round into the riot gun, with a caption quoting you as saying, "I'm going to count to ten..." Sadly, upon reading the accompanying news blurb, it became apparent that the women in your life give you just as much trouble when you're keeping Little Peter out of the relationship, as they do when you let him bend you to his will. Jesus, BillyC, where do you get these broads? It's par for the course for a politician to have the morals of a two dollar whore, but when they have the brains and the heart of a two dollar whore, as well, then you can't hang out with them without "gettin' some on'ya." As far as that mutt-faced, child-murdering bitch in Justice goes, I assumed that Buddy was brought in to replace her, but I was wrong again. If that dumb Nazi cunt keeps popping up in the SunSite GunSight I've got trained on BadBillyG, then I'm going to take care of her sorry ass by telling BillyG how to tie her tubes in a knot. 1. Buy the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, and begin construction on the new MicroSoft Headquarters Building. 2. Place media ads suggesting that the citizens of Redmond consider sending their children to a safer location until the DOJ action against MicroSoft has reached a conclusion. 3. Hold employee fire drills twice a day, and give visitors to MicroSoft Headquarters a sheet containing safety instructions in the event of an armed government assault during their visit. 4. Train bright lights and blaring loudspeakers on the MicroSoft Compound several times per day, in order to prepare employees for possible government action. Think I'm kidding, Bubba? NEWS FLASH!!! San Francisco Chronicle / January 13, 1998 / Page C1 SUN FOCUSES IN ON NT MARKET - New Unix workstations priced as low as $3,000 Sun Microsystems today will launch a new line of inexpensive workstations aimed at blunting the spread of powerful Windows NT desktop computers in the high-profit technical market. ... Golly, gee. The poor bastards are being forced by BadBillyG to offer their products at a reasonable price in order to get a share of the market. Isn't life hard... After years of waiting for these pricks to begin facing enough competition to have to come down off of their high-horse and deliver a product at a price the average joe could at least contemplate, the DOJ is trying to put a lid on the competitor who is delivering the goods for a reasonable price. Netscape? I got MicroSoft Exploiter for free, but I still use Netscape, which I also got for free. Buy Netscape? Kiss my lily-white ass, Bubba. I pay for the son-of-a- bitch every time it takes me five minutes, instead of one, to download the ton of advertising on a website that is brought to me courtesy of the wonderful browser folks who are designing their software for corporate advertising and sales departments, instead of for my benefit. Let's get our cards on the table here, BillyBob. I'm sure that you're getting some good campaign-contribution mileage out of the Micro$not Ba$her Coalition, and would like to squeeze M$ for a good chunk of change, as well, but there is a serious flaw in your game-plan. For starters, BadBillyG already gets much of what he wants by working the actual power-points in the corporate/political structure, instead of fucking away large amounts of time, money and energy on the power-players who may or may not be able to control those who actually control the power-points. Secondly, you cannot be certain that myself or some other lunatic will not storm M$ Corporate Headquarter$ and take the employee$ ho$tage, demanding that BillyG donate a million dollar$ a day to the Democratic Election Campaign to guarantee their $afe release. While the public is willing to pretend that the anti-trust action is for their benefit, I sincerely doubt that they are willing to be made fools of by denying the obvious implication that such an action would be consistent with current political maneuvers, but infinitely more direct and honest than the maze of deceit and lies that those currently in power use to achieve the same ends. I am beginning to froth at the mouth and drool on myself, so I suppose that I should get to the point, and sign off shortly. Bottom line: Look out of your office window. Do you see the sniper, sitting on the rooftop of... OK, just kidding... Seriously, I am certain that there are millions of sheeple who slapped their foreheads and proclaimed, "Who'da thunk it?", when they read such recent news headlines as: "Nixon Knew!" "Joe Camel Designed To Lure Teens!" "Scientists Discover Earth is Round!" The point is, there are also a few chosen individuals (presumably including yourself, but not necessarily Dan Quayle) who had already figured these things out for themselves, long before the mainstream media pronounced them as officially acceptable reality-bytes. Some of these selected individuals belong to agencies, organizations and groups which overtly or covertly work within the established socio- politico-economic structure to guide and direct the future of society, government, civilization, and human development. And some of them work outside of, or within-yet independent of-the officially established structures... I am certain you are aware that there are certain individuals and organizations who have been actively preparing to take advantage of the increasingly popular boogeyman known as the 'Millennium Bug', while keeping quiet about it so as not to alert others as to the true import of the problem in regard to the radical nature of the changes which will accompany it in the socio-politico-economic arenas of society. What you are undoubtedly unaware of, however, is that most of the major players within the established power-structure are sucking hind-tit to a variety of techno-guerilla cells formed many years ago to influence and/or counteract the activities of those who were making plans to manipulate the situation to benefit the few and the powerful. The importance of these individuals is not in the particular nature or scope of their activity, but in the fact that they are quite simply volunteers who, unasked, have separated themself from the crowd around them and committed themself to 'charging the hill' that they see needs to be taken in order to provide safety and protection for their fellow soldiers. One of these individuals is a soldier who was taken prisoner and interred in a German prison camp in 1943. The fact of the matter is, he was a German national of French descent who robed himself in the uniform of a fallen aviator in order to get himself incarcerated for the purpose of helping Allied prisoners of war to escape and successfully find their way to safety. The man was a shipping clerk who knew nothing of war, the military, or the like, but who did what he felt must be done, despite his obvious unsuitability and inexperience for the task. What I will never forget is the puzzled look I saw on his face when someone tried to express sympathy for the trials and tribulations he faced as a result of his actions. His answer was to the effect that, "It was the price to be paid for the decision I made...I knew that going in. It was the price of freedom." The point I am trying to make is that the DOJ actions against M$ could probably be described by reference to a song I once wrote about a cross-eyed girl, titled, "If Looks Could Kill, You'd Only Be Hurting Yourself." The IRS, Treasury Department and the IMF are going to have all they can handle just trying to tread water when the Millennium Bug throws a good screw into their butts. BadBillyG and the Micro$not Exploiter Bowling Team are going to take home their share of the New Millenium trophies, but Blanc Weber and Jeff Sandquist are crazy-gluing enough of the pins to the floor to make sure that the employees of Nut$crape and $un can still put shoes on their childrens' feet. (I've got to admit that your spin doctors are doing a damn fine job of building public sympathy for corporate executives who earn more in a year than Jane and Joe Public will earn in a lifetime.) In closing, I would like to assure the members of the various government and private agencies involved in investigating me as a result of my thinly veiled virtual-death-threats against sundry world leaders and titans of industry that their efforts are not a waste of time. I honestly consider myself a viable prospect as a corporate/political assassin--it's just that circumstances invariably arise which preclude my acting on what I instinctively know to be the right course of action. In essence...I'm only human. From the corporate perspective, I knew years ago that IBM executives deserved to die a slow and horrible death, but I could never quite bring myself to overcome my resistance to destroying some truly great suits in the process. I have had BadBillyG in my gunsights and headlights several times over the years, but I would always back off when overcome by the urge to tickle him under the chin, and call him "little feller." As far as politics goes... I couldn't whack Nixon because he was so patently evil that his ultimate destiny is to be reincarnated as himself, and nothing I could do to him could compare to that. Gerald Ford wasn't worth the trouble, since it seemed likely that he would kill himself by bumping his head on some inanimate object, anyway. Jimmy Carter never really existed, politically, as far as I was concerned. One of us slept through his administration, and I think it was him... Reagan...after his statement that "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.", it would have been like whacking out a retarded kid. It was no accident that a movie actor was the target of an assassination by someone who watched one too many movies. I washed my hands of his involvement in the American political structure by writing a song called, "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For The Monkey..." George Bush was a conspiracy theorist's dream. He had so much shit on his stick that the wise move was to leave him alone until his tenure was in the history books, and then lay out a documented trail leading from the financial source of his backing originating in profits >from Nazi business dealings during World War II --> to his bald-faced audacity in trumpeting the rejuvenation of the Third Reich's 'New World Order.' (But, when Bush was President, "...the trains ran on time.") Then, we have 'Slick Willie'. Apologies in advance, but you have pretty much been nailed as a dope-smoking, draft-dodging, drug-dealing adulterer who has a history of questionable business dealings ranging from real-estate fraud to selling post-mortem military honors to people who died fucking their brains out in the Lincoln bedroom in return for illegal campaign contributions. My gut instinct tells me that there have probably been dozens of potential assassins who have had you lined up in their gunsights, only to see your silly grin and realize that you are not a whole lot different from themselves. "To him who does what within him lies, God will not deny his grace." ~Saint Thomas Acquinas Nixon was a ratfucker, plain and simple. He didn't really *need* to do the things that he did--he did them because he was willing to sell his soul in order stretch every mile gained by legitimate effort an extra inch or two by taking the dark path. The fact of the matter is, the Presidency requires an individual who is capable of being a two-faced, double-dealing ratfucker when the situation requires it, but Republicans seem to do it for the money, while Democrats generally seem to be more attuned to the emotional ramifications of the illusory power of the position. i.e. - a Rolling Stone music critic once stated that the power in the music played by Southern Bad-Boy Rockers came from the fact that they genuinely believed that they were going to burn in Hell for playing Rock & Roll, but they knew that doing so was in their blood and their destiny. Do you ever find yourself blowing out bad-ass pelvic-motion darkie- licks on the saxaphone, and wondering how in the hell you managed to have this much fun and still scam your way into being elected as one of the most powerful political figures in the allegedly free world? Do you ever wonder why lunatics such as myself give you so much shit over promoting Nazi cunts like Reno and FineSwine, when Hillary did some genuinely fine work in regard to health care and still got broad-sided by statists (both male and female) who thought that there was something inherently sinful in her not suggesting that her ideas could be made financially feasible by holding a bake sale? (I voted for Geraldine Ferraro, but only because I figured that we wouldn't have to pay her as much as a man.) BTW, I just received a letter from Chelsea, and she thanked me for my compliments on her butt, but told me she didn't think it was proper to date a psychopath who was stalking her father with a Stihl chainsaw. (So there is little need for you to lose a lot of sleep over the prospect of having to invite me for Thanksgiving dinner, and call me "son.") I also sent a letter a few weeks ago to Ted Kaczynski, offering to carry on his work while he is incarcerated. I got a letter back from him today, but I'm afraid to open it... Anyway, I realize that I'm starting to babble incoherently, and need to go take my medication, so I'll close by giving you a few words of wisdom, in case there's a chance that you're banging the White House staff person hired to screen your email. Re: Allowing the DOJ to perform a rim-job on BillyG... BadBillyG has the brains to realize that he only has to hang on for another 12 months, or so, before the Wonderful World of Computers is up to their ass in alligators over the Year2000 bug. If you truly believe that an individual who became the richest person in the world by promoting a fairly mediocre operating system is going to bend over and lift his robe while the dipshits who were incapable of competing with him (even when they had software and operating systems vastly superior to his) scramble to make their Y2K-non-compliant software comatible with their bum-buddy's Y2K-non-compliant software... I have some ocean-front property in Tucson, Arizona. Re: The poor, put-upon souls competing with Micro$not... It has been confirmed by extensive research that the future can be reliably predicted by taking note of the actions and reactions of the lunatic and criminal elements of society. I happen to qualify on both counts... I enjoy the living shit out of Micro$not Ba$hing, but it pisses me off when the government does it... I will kiss your lily-white ass if you can prove to me that the goddamn whiners bitching about BillyG's profits are not pulling down millions of dollars a year themselves. BillyG has a hundred billion dollars? I don't care if he has a fucking trillion dollars...those other whining fucks DO NOT have a God-given right to get filthy rich by keeping the price of their products inflated through the stifling of competition from Micro$not. What, exactly, is Nut$crape'$ complaint? That if Micro$not gives away InteNet Exploiter for free, that they cannot force me to pay to acquire a product that is designed to deliver commercial advertising to my screen when I surf the Net? Fuck those assholes... What, exactly, is $un Micro$ystem'$ complaint? That they have to produce products that don't cost ten times what Micro$not's products cost, in order to capture a decent market-share? Fuck those assholes... FRESH FROM THE CLUESERVER!!! I'm a fucking lunatic. I've had enough electricity run through my brain to keep Las Vegas in business for a decade. I require intense medication to keep from chewing on the rug and barking at the moon. Nonetheless, I was promoting and addressing computer issues in the 80's that are being recognized as essential to the future of technology at the close of the 90's. And what you should find *really scary* is that there are sane, functional people out and about in your world who not only know all that I do, and more, but who are in a position to throw a serious fuck into the heart of any technology system that the powermongers are counting on to promote their narrow self-interests over those of the general public. On a recent trip between B.C. and California, I stopped off in Micro$not Land long enough to vandalize the computer system in one of their offices so that their faxes to certain locations would translate the words "Bill Gates" into "Little Feller." Mission Impossible-->Mission Complete. Let me explain this as simply as possible. When the clock strikes 2000, many corporate and government agencies can kiss thier software functionality goodbye. Many of the companies who believe they are in a position to take advantage of the situation will find that small anomalies exist in their systems which will take tens of thousands of man-hours to resolve (only to discover that the 'solution' leads to another anomaly of the same nature). Keep in mind that what I am describing is only a small part of a process that began in 1989, with a computer manifesto which contained the words, "His Login is Panic, His Password is Crash. When Time is of Essence, He'll Rise from the Ash." These words were written by a computer neophyte who recognized the path the future would take, but who had no idea what could be done to counteract the evil he foresaw. Others *did* know what could be done...and more... The Y2K problem is quickly gaining recognition as a factor that will lead to monumental changes in the process of separating the winners from the losers in the coming Millennium. What is recognized by only a select few is that there are other considerations which have been programmed to go hand-in-hand with the Y2K problem which will have even greater influence on who will emerge in the next Millennium as the chief movers and shakers of society, government and civilization. In 1989, the Author wrote, "Gomez is coming." In 1998, the Author arrived for gomez's funeral the day before he was assassinated. The timing of his arrival was dependent upon the information he received from Netizens he didn't know, and had never met. Netizens who had ears to hear, and had acted on his warnings in ways which went far beyond the ken of his own understanding of the prophecies which he spoke. The Author neither knew nor cared about the source or intentions of those who had directed him to travel to Berkeley in time to say a last goodbye to his friend and mentor. Neither did he know or care how or why he instinctively knew that upon opening the letter he received from the alleged UnaBomber, that his brains would be splattered upon the wall behind him, forming the words, "TRIN--The Revolution Is NOW!" I'm Going To Count To Ten... ~~~~~~~~~~~ TruthMonger ~~~~~~~~~~~